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Doug: I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours. What are you going to do when she starts to date?

Bill: I figure I'll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder, and pull him close to me so that only he can hear. Then I'll say, "Do you see that sweet, little young lady? She's my only daughter, and I love her very much. If you were thinking about touching, kissing, or being physically affectionate to her in any way, just remember this: I don't mind going BACK to prison."

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