A couple has a dog that snores. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.
"Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.
Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring.
The woman is amazed! The next night, the husband comes home late after being out on a date with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him.
So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly it also works on him!
The woman sleeps soundly. The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom.
As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom,
He sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head at the dog and says , "I don't know where we were or what we did, but, we got first and second place ."