BTS Soft Sleep Imagines [COMPLETED]

{11} Kim Namjoon

2102 words

Before we start, this is not an imagine without triggers. This includes mentioning of depression, insanity, and the use of medication in a very, VERY wrong way. If you don't care about the mentioning of it, enjoy :) This is partly written based on experience, so please don't come at me with false accusations on how it wouldn't go this way. Everyone is different. Thank you.

You hate this.

This feeling.

The feeling of being a complete mess.

The feeling of having a mental breakdown, and having over a million thoughts running through your head st the same time.

The feeling of being not good enough for anyone.

Feelings of guilt and sadness rushing through your veins.

Yep.

You hate it.

The worst part of it, is that your boyfriend isn't home. He went to work a few hours ago, and he wouldn't be home for at least a couple more. You were in your room, hidden away on your bed with the blankets wrapped firmly around you. You were clutching a pillow thightly against your stomach, pretending it was Namjoon while you prepared yourself for the worst part of every breakdown you had ever had.

Insanity hours.

In every breakdown there was a point where you'd lose it. Where you'd just do everything without a single care or thought in the world. Namjoon was always there to calm you down and tell you everything would be alright, but now that he wasn't here for the first time ever, you dreaded the rush of craziness more than ever.

The tears from 20 minutes earlier had finally dried, and now you were just thinking about things you normally thought about when you felt like this. Suddenly your mind wandered off to last week. You've had an appointment with your doctor for your depression, and he gave you some medication for it.

You smiled to yourself, a little craziness invading your body. You jumped up from the bed, almost tripping over the blankets that fell on the ground due to your quick movements, and darted right to the bathroom.

You looked around.

'Where did Namjoon put those stupid things...?'

You grinned as you walked over to the cabinets, and opened one of them. You roamed through them, desperate to find what you were looking for, feeling more and more insane by the second. But you didn't mind it anymore. Sure, your sane-self hated and dreaded it, but once the insanity part started, you loved every moment of it.

Finally you found the bottle of pills. You grabbed it, knocking over a few other things in the process, and ran back to your room. Not caring about the opened cabinets and the few things on the ground that had fallen down.