Bechloe - Because You're Mine

Chapter XXV

"Just tell me about Chloe."

Beca paused briefly. "She's... amazing. She's everything I want and will ever want. She's my world. I can't believe that I lived without her for so long. She's the sunshine to my raincloud."

"That's beautiful. What is it about Chloe that you love the most?"

"Gee... Where to start? She's just perfect. I can't find a fault in her. I'm surprised that she wanted to be with me and that she's still with me, even though we're going through a break at the moment. She loves me so much and I used to question it all the time but we've been together for so long that there's no point questioning her. She loves me, I love her, and that's all there is to it. That's all that matters."

"Does Chloe look after you?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. As I said, she's perfect - amazing. I don't understand how someone like her exists in such a cruel and unforgiving world like this one."

"Would you say that you rely on her?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you rely on her for things like emotional support? Financial support? Moral support? Care? Guidance? Influence? Things like that."

"Ahh... I think I do, yeah. Financial support not so much but I think I rely on her for the other things. I haven't thought too much about all that."

"And how have you been getting on without her recently?"

"Not great," Beca chuckled.

"How so?"

"I've been a mess. I've been panicking about things, I'm not my usual self, I don't care about things anymore like my music or my work... It's like my whole world has been flipped upside down like it was before I met her. She's the only one who can make things right for me. She calms me down when I'm stressed and she knows exactly what to do when I'm in a bad way or stressing too much, or something else."

"So, would you say that you're lost without her?"

"Yeah," Beca nodded. "She's my everything."

"Okay..." The psychologist wrote down some things on her notepad then looked up at Beca. "What I'm about to say next may be wrong and feel free to tell me if I am but it seems like Chloe is a replacement for your mother."

"What?" Beca frowned.

"You just told me that Chloe pretty much looks after you and shelters you. She has that maternal instinct towards you and you feel safe with her. You feel that you can go to her for anything and you trust her. No matter what happens, you'll be okay as long as you're with Chloe. That's how a child feels towards their mother. They turn to their mothers for care, comfort, advice, guidance, support, empathy, and so on. Chloe seems like she's ticking all of those boxes for you. In a way, she's like the mother you never had and maybe even perhaps, the mother you always wanted."

Beca didn't speak. She was NOT expecting her psychologist to come out with that.

"What do you think?" The woman asked.

"I... I don't know..." Beca spoke. "I never even thought to make that assumption."

"Not many people do."

"What does that mean then?"

"It means that because your mother left you at a young age, you felt as if she abandoned you and that she didn't care. Those feelings and thoughts made you angry and they hurt you and they hurt you deeply and unfortunately, it affected the relationships that you have with people - romantic or not. So, it's easier for you to shut people out in order to avoid that hurt again. You are very independent yet distant and struggle with interacting with people on a deep and personal level. It makes you uncomfortable because whenever you open up, it's as if you're showing people the little girl Beca who was hurt all those years ago and you don't want to hurt her again.