LOVE WITHOUT SLEEP

THE CHAPTER 10

I closed my eyes only to see George's face. In every thought, in every dream...it was George's face. As I opened them again, looking to the side of me, there he was. Somehow, even though he was asleep and doing absolutely nothing at all, I could feel a sudden flutter in my stomach. Butterflies. I smiled and leaned my head back against the headrest, seeing nothing but clouds ripping through the sky as I turned the other way.

I then began to think of time. Time was something that made my heart race, and my mind ache...because it went so fast. Though in the midst of it all could feel like an eternity. I looked back over to George, studying his face and every bit of its detail. From his eyes, to his nose, to his lips, he was a perfect human being. It would be silly to want anyone else after all that's happened...though it wasn't right. I wanted to leap out of my chair.

I wanted to shout to stop the plane but I had to remind myself that we weren't in a film and nothing would work according to plan. I felt sick to my stomach, looking around for the nearest anything to barf into though nothing around. I hurried to the back bathrooms, only to find the the door was locked.

"I'll be out in a minute." It was Matty's voice...surely it could have been anyone, but I knew it was his. I just knew.

"Matty open the fucking door." I said quickly.

"What?" Who is...who is it?" He asked hesitantly, to the point to where I'd laugh if I wasn't holding back vomit.

"It's me, Judith! Jude. It's me open the fucking door I really need to--" the door swung open, I hurried in and dropped straight to my knees before the toilet.

"Ugh!" Matty backed up against the door as it forced itself back shut, watching me, "are you alright?"

I looked up at him, my face covered in paranoid tears and my head weighing ten tons.

"Do I look alright to you?" I asked.

He looked beside him at the door, "alright, that would be a no. I'm gonna...wait out front--"

"Matty do you think I'm an idiot for this?" I asked with a hurry before he could leave the bathroom.

He turned around, the look of misery upon his face. I quickly flushed so he wouldn't have to smell it, sitting down and leaning my back against the wall.

"For throwing up?" He asked, a look of confusion and disgust upon his face all at once.

"No...no...no..." I banged the back of my head against the wall repeatedly, I knew I must've looked like a fool for having a meltdown right in front of him with no relationship at all enough for him to feel obligated to care...though somehow I still managed to embarrass myself for exactly three minutes in the tiny room.

He kneeled down in front of me, as there was no other choice if he didn't stand or leave, "Jude...what the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked, his face now growing worried, sending me sympathetic vibes. I didn't want his sympathy, I didn't know what I wanted at all.

"George broke up with his girlfriend, now I'm flying to England with him, and...it's stupid. It's cruel, it's wrong--"

"He's been wanting to break up with his girlfriend for months now." Matty said.

I looked at him, it was almost as if all emotions had been put on pause, and so was time...at last. He stood still, and so did the plane...or at least in my mind it did. I now could think...with a clear understanding.

"You mean that?" I asked, to be sure he wasn't shitting me to shut me up.

He nodded, "yeah...then you came and he knew for sure, I guess. I mean I wouldn't know for certain, but I can give it a bet." He said.