Everything Left Unsaid>>GoldenBlackHawk

.06

May 19

So again it's been a while journal then again I've been busy. Which is also an excuse but a good one as classes just finally ended for me. No more stress, homework, or anything. Just a summer filled with a job at Barnes and Noble, plenty of books, and of course Kevin.

Well I guess I'll start with what I did these past nine, almost ten (it's 11:28 pm as I write this actually) days. Basically I was working to pass classes, turn in homework, and convince myself that a career in writing was a good idea still. I keep trying to tell myself it is, but I feel like the words I write are losing their elegance and just becoming words. Just as plain and bland as the ones everyone else writes despite my professor saying I was best in the class I simply don't see it anymore.

Then today was the end of my first year of college. They say it's an accomplishment but honestly it feels like yet another year of schooling I might never need. That feeling is terrifying, that I may have put myself through all that pressure for nothing. Then again I was going to keep pressing on, because my parents made it clear there's no turning back now. I'm just happy to be done with classes for the year, it's an amazing feeling to know that I don't have to be there for three months, I also dread going back.

I'm filled with an overwhelming happiness though as I start work tomorrow at Barnes and Noble. It's a book store which is the equivalent of heaven to me.(the candy stores a close second) My days over the next three months and after that just for shorter periods when my classes start back up.

Lastly there was Kevin. I don't even know where to begin on this subject. I'd been talking to him almost none stop and we'd hung out a each others houses several times also. It was hard to go anywhere publicly though as it looked rather odd of me to pass a notepad, stopping my walking to write. We'd tried this and Kevin didn't mind but it had made me rather self conscious. I'd learned that Kevin was always rather cheerful, always happy never seeing anything negative. I enjoyed that though, it was pleasant to have someone who never seemed to be negative around. Needless to say Kevin and I had become close friends.

I guess the easiest way to put things is that I'm a mess of emotions. All of them unclear and rather annoying.(oh look another emotion) I can even describe how it feels to have the different feelings of happiness and dread in my at the same time. It's like they're just going to clash while I'm just the battlefield. I guess they're something that'll work themselves out in time.

I'll try and write again soon,

Bye xx

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A/N

Posting three more of these and Running, then Wonderwall on my other account xD Sorry for lack of posts I didn't have internet last night and most of today >.< But my back hurts and my parents think I pulled a muscle(how I don't know I don't do anything) and help it hurts. ALSO THANK YOU HOMIES FOR SIX HUNDO LIKE WHATWHATWHAT THANK YOUUUUU <3