Reverberation - Guns N Roses Fanfiction

SIXTEEN - the agreement

October 7th, 1991

It was seven o'clock, and very cold out. Luckily, Izzy had planned around that—he'd brought extra blankets and even a sweater for me to wear.

We picked silently at the trays of food spread out for us. There were finger foods like meatballs, different breads with different sauces or spreads on them. Many of the options were just miniature versions of regular foods.

"Is this comfortable for you?" Izzy asked.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, then took a sip of sparkling apple cider.

"I mean, are you cold? Or do you want a pillow to sit on?"

I paused to think. "Mm... no—but there is something."

Izzy sat up straighter. "What is it?"

There was a tray of delicacies between where we lounged, so I put it on the other side of me. "I want... to be close to you."

I moved my body closer to his. A centimetre away from him. Not touching.

His breath caught in his throat; I was feeling the same way.

What are you doing what are you doing what are you doing—no, it's okay. This is fine. I reminded myself that this was Izzy, and he was someone who made me feel safe, and understood me on a level that no one else ever could. And I didn't understand why I was worrying this, because we had kissed before of course, so this should be no big deal, but... it felt different, and powerful, and out of my comfort zone. In a good way.

I met his eyes. There might as well have been no stars in the sky, because all I noticed were the ones in his eyes. I placed my hand on his chest; felt his heart racing. He rested his hand atop mine—a comfort.

I kissed him gently. He moved his mouth slowly and thoughtfully, yet maybe even a bit unsure. I took a leap of faith, a daring chance, and moved so that my knees were on either side of his hips.

My heart sank when he stopped kissing me.

"I—Cassie?"

"Yeah?" I whispered, sliding off of his lap.

"We don't... I mean, I don't want to do anything that you're not comfortable with."

I smiled and suppressed a laugh. There was only one man in the world who would stop kissing a woman who was straddling him, and I had somehow gotten lucky enough to be his girlfriend.

"I know. I know that. And that's why I... want to. I want to try this—take the next step with you."

He didn't give me any response at all for a moment. And then he gave me everything I ever needed.

His lips were on mine and I could have been dreaming for all I knew, because suddenly the chill in the air wasn't so biting and the knot in my stomach untangled. Something new rooted there—something wild and passionate that was ready to give and give and give.

I put my hand on his cheek, my other arm encircling him. He hugged me tight against his body and laid me down gently on the quilt. Our mouths remained connected all the while, our breaths shared and shaky.

My heart raced as he ran his gentle, calloused hands down my back, my arm, my side, my leg. I pushed my arms under his jacket and up his back, embracing him.

When our hips began to move against one another, he paused. Then he rolled off of me, onto his back. I loosed a breath and crinkled my brow.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, peering over at him.

His arm was slung over his eyes. "Yes, yes—holy f- yes. It's great. I just..." he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I want to make sure that we get this right. I don't want to take any chances."

"I don't... I don't know what you mean. What chances?"

He didn't quite meet my eye as he said, "I don't want to mess this up. Because it's everything I've ever wanted."

I swallowed. Tears pricked at my eyes. I let out a breath, and with it came whispered words that sounded like, "I love you."

Izzy startled at that, and my heart jumped with him. "Wh-What did you say?"

"What? Nothing. It was nothing."

Izzy leaned over me, not on top of my but one arm supporting him on each side of my body. "Did you... did you say 'I love you'?"

And then my tears came again and I knew if I spoke that my voice would crack so I didn't say anything. I didn't move because I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and I always know what he's thinking.

"Cassie, I have to know if that's what you said."

He took one of those hands again and ran it though my hair—sweet, caring, slow, loving.

"I need to know because... I love you too, Cassie."

A tear rolled down my cheek; Izzy brushed it aside with a gentle finger.

"Good tears?" he asked.

I nodded and kissed him because I had nothing to say. I found words after our lips parted, however: "I love you."

He just smiled as he looked at me, his eyes tracing loving circles all over my face, admiring and appreciative.

"We should get out of here," he said to me. "It'll be more comfortable back at the apartment."

Always worried about my comfort, my happiness. "Okay," I replied, my eyes never leaving his.

On the drive back, he rested his hand on my thigh. I tried not to squeal with delight.

When we arrived back at the apartment, he put the car in park and immediately turned to begin kissing me. I allowed it and then pulled away to laugh, because everything about the night had been so surreal.

Izzy must have understood and reciprocated the feeling, because he chuckled with me. "Ready to go in?"

"Yes," I told him, never having been so sure of anything in my entire life.

—

sorry that this chapter is kinda late I just haven't been writing a lot oops ok bye lol

-megan xx