Romantic love story

Chapter Thirty-eight: Husbands, Love Your Wives

Since the music wasn't helping as much as it had in the past, Madison focused herself on other thoughts as it played. Dread of meeting her sister-in-law was staring her in the face, and since cutting was out of the question, Madison looked for something else to take its place. Not even the wedding dress could get her mind off this. She thought of her next goal, and it wasn't the second wedding. She knew it wasn't enough to know she wanted something, she had to have a plan. Saying everything was out of the question was like saying she couldn't be with Terry at all, for he was a man, and it was just the way God had decided to make men.

A plan meant knowing her own limits, what she could accept, and what was simply out of the question, and being fair about it. It beat sitting there, not thinking about Karen, so Madison decided to make a list, the ugliest list in the entire world.

Terry flicked her a look, one that made her think he was checking to see how she was doing. "Are you sure you don't want to take a nap?" he asked.

She shook her head, hugged herself, and started with the very worst. It had always given her a great deal of pain, so it came first. What should be number two on her list wasn't hard to figure out, either. She had night terrors over blacking out, not being able to breathe, so number two on the list would be strangling. It was absolutely out of the question. Pushing aside her own shame, she concentrated on what could kill her, on what gave her the most pain, and added those to her list of things to avoid at all cost.

"That was some rainbow, wasn't it?"

She looked up. "Is there another one?"

"Not yet, I was just trying to make conversation." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Terry slide her a look as she tapped the phone's colorful display, and found the notes app.

"If I make a note that says, 'Madison, highly personal,' will you promise not to read it until I say you can?"

"Of course. Just make sure you name it, so I know to keep out." He paused. "Should I be concerned? Are you doing all right?"

She nodded. "Just don't read this yet."

"I won't."

She didn't need him to say a thing more, for she trusted him to keep his word. With a deep breath, Madison started to type her list. It was scary to see those words, but it felt powerful, as well. Absolutely, no way, under any circumstances. She wanted to make it plain. For as long as she lived, never again. All thoughts about meeting Karen fell away as Madison found the letters that spelled each word to form her destiny.

The sound of the traffic, the motion of the road kept her from getting too lost in her thoughts. While she was dreading one thing, she felt distracted enough to face this. At least enough to make a list. No way would she ever willingly let a man do this to her-- and Madison punched out the words with an anger that had Terry glancing at her. She started to add something else, then stopped. She wouldn't put that down. It wouldn't be fair to Terry. Or herself. If she was brutally honest. No, she couldn't put that down.

Time passed, and Madison kept working on her list. This wasn't a lighthearted stringing together of words, a sentence to a line, a list any normal couple would make. It took steadiness, and the memory of Terry holding her last night to write it.

The jeep turned and Madison swayed without looking up.

There wasn't a living soul on earth she felt this close to, but Terry. She'd found shelter with him, and safety. She was safe. Safe enough to write this.

She looked at him, saw his face all thoughtful and quiet as he watched the road. She wondered what he would say. Terry was a man, but he was reasonable. He wouldn't want to hurt her.