Chapter Twenty-three: The Struggle for Sanity

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Though sleep tempted him to try and get more rest, Terry spent some time with the Lord before sunrise, then climbed out of bed when the light shone through the slats of his window blinds. His heart wouldn't let him sit still any longer. Hope made him buoyant. His insides were dancing, his pulse humming so much he couldn't help but sing in the shower.

At the sink, when he shaved in front of the mirror, his smile kept getting in the way of the electric razor. Who was that grinning man? Surely, it couldn't be Terry Davis, the guy with no significant other in his life, the one who feared he would never fall in love? Laughing, Terry tugged on jeans, pulled a merino sweater over a white T-shirt, then headed downstairs, still humming and grinning like he was the happiest man on Planet Earth.

This morning, he was.

He needed to start planning what to fix Maddie for breakfast, and the thought of her being just next door, made his heart sing even louder. God was so good. The fact Terry had no silverware in his kitchen did nothing to dampen his spirits. He was hoping, he was in love, and it felt wonderful.

Cell phone in hand, he went to the fridge and called Maddie. The phone rang four times before she answered.

"Hey, neighbor, can I come over and borrow some forks and spoons? And some food. It looks like I've given nearly everything away."

"Sure, come over." Her voice sounded hazy, like she'd just been awakened from a deep sleep. "I'll unlock the door."

Terry glanced at the time and winced. "Sorry I woke you."

"It's okay, Terry. I don't mind."

"I'll be over in a minute then."

They hung up, and after a cursory check of the pantry, Terry had a good idea of what he still needed to make a nice breakfast. Nothing heavy-duty, but special enough to celebrate the morning. This wonderful, wonderful morning with Maddie.

The sweater did little to keep him warm as he stepped outside and went to Maddie's door, just a few steps away. He rang the doorbell, huffed out a vapor trail against the freezing early morning. If the weather hadn't already been enough to warn of the coming winter, the numbing temperature as he stood waiting on Maddie's doorstep was enough of a reminder. He should have put on a coat.

He rang the doorbell again, then remembered Maddie had said she would unlock the door and tried the handle. It worked, and the door turned on its hinges with a low creak.

"Hey, Maddie?" He looked about the living room, saw no one, and stepped inside before he froze to death. If it had been this cold yesterday, the rain would have almost certainly turned to snow. Thankfully, Maddie had remembered to turn up the thermostat, so the apartment was comfortable. "Maddie?" he called again, moving to the kitchen. He heard something, and started for the room that wasn't really a bedroom, but a room with a couch.

"In here," she called, as he moved down the short hall and came to the open bedroom door.

He looked inside, not wanting to invade her privacy but knowing Maddie well enough to be a little concerned that she hadn't met him at the front door. The room looked clean and orderly, not like the last time he'd seen it, and Maddie lay on the couch, covered with a thick comforter pulled up to her chin.

"How are you feeling?" Terry asked, and ventured inside. His heart lodged in his throat when he got a better look at the pale, pale face staring at him from over the blanket.

"Hi, Terry."

He nodded without thinking, moved to the couch to place a concerned hand on her forehead.

"I don't have a fever, so I'm all right."

"You're whiter than bed linen, Maddie. What's wrong? Do you feel sick?"

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