Don't Leave Me

Betrayel

With new found determination I flung open the kitchen door and...

France and England stood kissing in the middle of the kitchen. France and my fucking boyfriend stood kissing in the middle of my kitchen.

I watched for a few seconds as France pressed England against the fridge. I waited for him to push France away but he...he didn't. They continued kissing like they didn't have a care in the world. England kissed him like I didn't exist.

"Get out." I couldn't even find the strength to yell.

The two sprang a part, reminiscent of England and I on the couch only a few minutes ago. England pushed passed France and stared at me surprised. His bottom lip is swollen. It's swollen and he's blushing and his hair is messed up like fingers went through it and-

"Get out now." I can't. I cant look at him right now. I turn my gaze on France whose smirking like he just won the lottery, "Both of you. Alliance or no, I want you out of my house. Your leaders can be the go-between for the alliance." I put as much venom as I could into my tone but it still just felt so empty.

My chest feels empty. My heads spinning but I can't break down now. Not in front of him.

"Alfred it's not what it looks like I promise! Let me explain." England took a hesitant step towards me as he spoke rushing the words out over those swollen lips. At least the blush had faded.

Shaking my head I turn and walk out of the kitchen. I can't breath. Everything is falling a part and I just need to get away from him.

"Alfred wait!" He called after me and I whipped around just as he rushed out of the kitchen.

"Was any of it real or was it all just to get him jealous?" I snapped and let the anger replace the emptiness in my chest, "I trusted you! I lo..." Breathing heavy I forced the words back, "I want you to go. I want you to leave!"

England froze as my words hung between us. He reached his hand out, "Of course it was rea-"

"I don't care! I don't care about any of it England. I don't care about what happened and I sure as hell don't give a shit about you!" I yelled blinking the tears from my eyes, "For a second I thought maybe he came onto you ya know but you didn't stop him! You didn't push him away! You let him kiss you in my kitchen when I was just in the other room...I...How am I supposed to trust you? How am I supposed to believe anything you say?"

A creak behind me interrupted England before he could respond, "Alfred? What's going on?" Matty asked.

As if on cue France exited the kitchen and moved to stand in between England and I. His mistake standing so close to me right now.

I punched him. I hit him square in the jaw and he stumbled back onto his ass crying about his face being damaged.

"Don't make me tell you to leave again." I said directing this at France, "You think Germany is bad right now? You have no idea."

France quickly stood up and rushed out the front door leaving it wide open as he left. Slowly I turned to look at England whose mouth hung open and his eyes seemed to dart around the room searching for answers, "Explain why you didn't stop him."

England's gaze shot to me as I spoke, "I-I froze. I froze Alfred. I didn't understand what was going on!"

Closing my eyes I took another steadying breath. One side of me says he is lying. Another side says he isn't. I'm so confused and everything hurts I just want to be alone but I don't know what to do.

"I need to think England. Just give me some space to think please." My voice cracked and Matty was quickly standing next to me as a steadying force.

Opening my eyes I looked towards the door, "O-of course. You need space. That's okay. It's shocking and overwhelming I understand that-" I shot him a sharp look, "S-sorry. I'll give you space to think. Just know I'd never hurt you like that intentionally. He kissed me. I froze. That's what happened Alfred. Think about it please and call me when your ready." With that he turned and walked out the door closing it softly as he left.

As soon as the door shut my knees buckled and both Gilbert and Matty were there to hold me up and help guide me into my room. They left me curled up on the bed crying as my mind replayed the scene again and again. Each time I tried to apply England's story to it and it made sense but it's so hard fighting the image of France pressing against him...him not doing anything.

I just need to think.

I want to break but I can't. I can't let my nation down or the others.

I just don't know how to be okay without him.