Maps || l.h. au

01 // March 13, 2014

   Leah was certain that whoever owned the map randomly chose how many days he would stay in a place because as she looked over his (she decided the past owner would be a guy, who’s hopefully not a grumpy old man now) notes and their dates, and the drawing of lines he used with colored pens to trace the places that he went before going to this place. And according to Leah’s reading on the map, he started at Manhattan, New York with nearing 4 hours in just driving from Cambridge, Massachusetts. But first, she had to refill her car’s tank.

   Maybe she should be acting guilty right now, with taking this road trip like it was some sort of vacation she was taking instead of taking a plane home back to Washington. But she already is guilty, especially with the fact that she let her fucked-up boyfriend waste her whole future and all the hard-work her parents have put into action at the past. Sure, her dad came from a family of politicians and he was running as a State senator and her mom was a famous commercial model, but she didn’t want to disappoint them because she knew the fact that they were people with high standards and high expectations, and she is scared that she’s lost that little battle of getting their attention more by being at Harvard.

   She wanted to go back to Harvard and sit down on her Fiction Writing class and pretend like her schedule’s cramped so she would do a lot of work done by the night and she would be actually free for the weekends. She wanted to go back to her house, in the bedroom she shares with Therese and talk about the coming ‘The Fault In Our Stars’ movie and how Ansel Elgort seemed to have mastered the existence and the way Augustus Waters lives. She wanted to back there, in Harvard, studying and hopefully finishing it as a writer and getting her parents to be attentive with her more than just her perfect little sister.

   But she was already at the gas station, eating gum and looking over the map again while waiting for the fill up to finish, trying to keep her conscience at bay even if it’s literally screaming, “THIS IS AN ABOMINATION! THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! GET BACK TO HARVARD, YOU—” inside of her. Funnily enough, even her insides seemed to reject the fact that she’s just been called to the dean’s office yesterday to tell her she was expelled from Harvard along with her no-good boyfriend.

   Well, she can’t feel sorry for the guy. Leah was in wonder how a guy like that would even end up at Harvard . . . like, yeah, maybe she isn’t the most brilliant student at her class but Colin’s stupidity exceeds all expectations. And she began to wonder – as she folded the map back again and threw it to the driver’s seat inside, since she was standing outside – what she saw in him, and why she had to have the worst taste for men who seem to have hurt her in one way or another before breaking up.

   Finally her car’s tank was full. She placed her payment on top of the machine that counted the amount of gasoline and got back inside her car, putting the map at the passenger seat beside her first before sitting down because it already looked crumpled and wrinkled enough.

   The gas station was partly deserted, since it was near the school campus and there were classes today. Nobody in their right minds would think of skipping classes or cutting them — most of Leah’s batch mates even went to other classes just to fill up the time of the class they’ve been kicked out from (and yes, pretty much of her batch mates were sassy smart-asses). Leah’s never been kicked out, though; she only got the worst part: Getting expelled.

   She got back inside her car, at the driver’s seat and closed the door at her side. Leah tried not to let herself worry that there was anybody who’s going to catch her just parking her car there for a few minutes because her slight worrying always lead to something bigger.

   Leah reached for the folded map at the passenger seat beside her, unfolding it. Abruptly, a piece of post-it note fell from it. She frowned. She doesn’t remember posting a yellow post-it there nor did anyone come near her car to just to stick it at the map. Plus, when she picked it up, it was in the exact same position as earlier when she placed it there.