I Didn't Know I Loved Him

CHAPTER 1 : Beer and Glow-in-the-Dark Stars

I Didn't Know I Loved Him (Until He Showed Me)

CHAPTER 1 : Beer and Glow-in-the-Dark Stars

"Hayley! Get me another beer!" mom screamed from downstairs. I groaned and ran out of my room and down the stairs to the kitchen.

Okay, let me explain first. Mom's an alcoholic and guess what...she abuses me. She's still my mom so I love her nevertheless. She wasn't always like this. It only started when dad left to join the army a few months after my sister committed suicide. My dad was stationed in Iraq at that time and they move a lot. I'm not sure where he is now since his last postcard came about year ago but I think he might be somewhere in Pakistan. I've been writing a lot to him though, telling him how mom and I are but I don't know if he's been getting them. I haven't seen him in 9 years.

I live with my mom in our average home; 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and the essentials. Mom works at night as a waitress at a bar so she spends the day at home, getting drunk like there's no tomorrow. Although she doesn't seem like a good mother, she provides money to send me to school and to pay the bills. When it comes to food and clothes for myself, I have to work for the money to buy them. I work after school at this bookstore and I make around $100 dollars a week. You didn't really need to know that so back to my story but that was it.

I grabbed a can of beer out of the fridge and ran to the living room. Mom was sprawled out on the couch with her legs up on the coffee table. There were a few empty cans of beer on it and other rubbish too.

"Here, mom," I said kindly and offered it to her.

To be honest, I was kinda scared of her. She hurt me so many times before and I can't even imagine her being nice to me anymore. Mom looked up at me, her brown eyes, which were the same as mine, were filled with anger and her blonde hair was all over her face. She snatched the beer away from me and stood up. She was taller than me by maybe one or two feet. I was 5'6 while she was around 5'8.

"Dearest Daughter," I flinched at those words, "that took almost 5 minutes! What the hell is wrong with you?" she screamed in my face and slapped me. I wasn't surprised but it did hurt. There was a stinging pain on my left cheek and I had to hold back the tears.

"Sorry, mom," I said quietly and looked down.

"You look at me when I talk to you!" she screamed and tilted my head up so harshly that I thought my neck would break.

"You useless bitch! I wish you were dead instead of Hannah" she screamed and slapped me again on the same cheek. I whimpered in pain as she let go of me and let me stumble back but I didn't know if the slap hurt more or her words.

"Go to your room!" I wasn't really shocked with everything that was going on. This was actually on my list of things that happen everyday. I ran up the stairs and one tear managed to slip from my eyes. When I was in my room, I slammed the door closed and leaned back on it, slowly slipping down so I was sitting on the floor with my back up against the door.

"Be strong, Hayley. Be strong!" I whispered and pushed myself of the ground.

I opened the door again and slipped out, going to the bathroom across the hall. I locked the door and it made a silent click then I walked over to the sink. I looked into my plain brown eyes first then to my cheek. There was a big, red mark on it and it was clearly noticeable. I sighed and touched it. It stung a bit and I hissed.

"Nothing new," I reminded myself.

I turned the tap on and splashed my face with some cold water. It did make me feel slightly better. I wiped my face dry with a towel and was careful not to put too much pressure on my cheek. I slipped out of the bathroom and went back to my room. When I looked around, I almost jumped.