Little Miss Secret

Ice Cream & Jealousy

"You were supposed to be here a hour ago." I spoke into my phone. Seth was on the other end which was strange since I hadn't had his number in my phone for almost 3 years. He was supposed to pick up Harper and I. He was going to take Harper on a shopping date and spoil the heck out of her. I insisted that he didn't have to, but he said it was to make up for not being here for her whole life. I agreed, I wasn't going to pass up a chance to pick out some new clothes for Harper!

"I know, I'm sorry. I just got caught up in things. I'm on my way." 

"Okay. I'll see you soon." I hung up the phone before I let him explain himself anymore. He had been like this for as long as I could remember. He was always running behind, but he usually wasn't more than 20 minutes late, so an hour was stretching it!

Harper sat on the living room floor with her fingers in her mouth. She was playing with her baby doll and pushing it around in a little pink stroller. 

"What's your babies name?" I asked sitting on the ground next to her. 

She took her fingers out of her mouth, "Harper!" She picked up the baby out of the stroller and pushed it in front of my face. 

"Oh, so you have the same name as her." 

"Noooooo, my name mommy, baby name Harper." 

My heart melted at the thought that my 2 year old was pretending to be me. On most days I feel like a terrible mother, but in these moments I have to wonder if I may be doing something right. 

There was a knock on the door. 

"It's unlocked." I yelled. Seth pushed open the door. 

"Violet, i'm so sorry!" 

"It's okay. Let's just get going, I don't want to keep Harper out too late and it's already 3:00. Can you get her  stroller while I get some things together?" 

"Sure." He shook his head. As soon as Seth approached Harper she shot her arms up towards him. 

"Okay, I'm ready." I said with a hint of jealously in my voice. It wasn't that I was unhappy to have Harper's father in her life, but it did hurt that Harper loved him so much already when he hasn't done anything for her. 

Once we arrived at the store Harper immediately squealed at the sight of an ice cream shop. 

"Mama pweaseeeee." She pouted. I crossed my arms. 

"Are you going to still eat your dinner?" 

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Pwease mama!!" 

I rolled my eyes and gave in, "I guess so, but if you don't eat some of your dinner tonight you won't get anymore ice cream for a while. Do you understand?" 

Harper shook her head yes. I wheeled the stroller into the ice cream parlor and ordered us all three ice cream. I got out my wallet and pulled out my card. 

"Violet, let me get it!" Seth insisted swiping his card before I could even tell him to stop. 

"You didn't have to do that." I said setting our ice cream and napkins on the table. I passed Harper her cup of chocolate ice cream. 

"I know, but I wanted to." 

"Well, thank you." 

We all dug into our ice cream. I kept a close eye on Harper because she was wearing a white shirt and I really didn't want to ruin anymore of her clothes. I had tucked a napkin into her shirt, but knowing Harper she would somehow manage to get it all over her. 

"Why are you back in LA?" I asked. 

"My business sent me back here to be a general manager for the old corp I used to work for. It paid more and I missed my family so I moved back."

"Where are you staying?" 

"Oh- uh." There was a slight hesitation in his voice, "At my girlfriends house." 

I froze. What did he just say? He has a girlfriend? And he was just yelling at me hours ago because he thought I had moved on? 

"Oh, you have a girlfriend...." 

"Ya, uh her name is Amanda. We've been dating for about a year now. We met when I was here for Christmas break last year. We did long distance and I would fly down every month to see her." 

I was fuming, but I did my best to hide it. 

"So you're telling you were here, in LA, every month and you didn't bother to even check on me?" 

"I- I just didn't want to hurt you more than I already had." 

It went silent for a minute. I couldn't believe this. 

"She wants to meet Harper if your willing, but she doesn't want to step on your toes. She's a lovely person, Vi. Give her a chance." 

"Don't you think she should meet your parents and brothers first?" 

He shook his head yes. 

"Of course, how about this. You can bring Harper over to my house and we'll have a little party. What do you say?" 

"Um, ya I guess." This was so awkward. I wanted so badly for Harper to have Seth's side of the family in her life, but if that included a women who took my place, then I don't know how badly I want it anymore. 

"Harper, are you ready to go shopping?" Seth asked in a baby voice. 

"Ya, ya, ya!" She started kicking her feet. 

"Are you ready?" He asked me. 

"Actually, can you just take her? I need to go get some things for the house."

"Sure, i'll call you if I need anything." 

Seth pushed Harper's stroller out of the ice cream shop. I sat at the table alone. It was a weird feeling. Harper rarely left my side. She was my baby, my whole entire world. She was the only thing I had left in my life. So, I held her close to me at all times because I was terrified of losing her. And even though I was still her mother and still had her in my life it felt like a part of her had been take away from me. I had been her only parent for years and now she has 2. Now she has to share her love. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I can't help it. I have to share her now, and that....that's the one thing I promised myself I would never do. I would never let her be taken away from me, but we all know that promises don't always live up to their expectations.