I Cannot Hide This Even Though I Try ~ A COMPLETED One Direction Fanfic

1 - Until Further Notice

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"Boys, do you know why you're here tonight?" Will asks the group of five boys sitting around the table. They all look at each other, shaking their heads.

"No, not really," Liam pipes up. "We thought it had something to do with planning our next tour or talking to us about the interview we have in a few days."

Will sighs audibly and the boys all know that they won't enjoy the outcome of this meeting. "We do need to discuss the interview, Liam, but you're all here because the label thinks it's time to go over something bigger with you," Will begins. "As you should all recall, we have had a deal since the beginning that goes over the company's ideals about your public lives. Now, I know that I said that you boys would eventually get the 'OK' to go public about your sexualities, namely Niall and Liam. Unfortunately, I don't get to have a say in this, so the label has decided that this won't be happening. Not for now, at the very least." Will pauses a moment to wait for any kind of reaction from any of the boys.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Niall snaps, causing everyone at the table to jump. He wasn't one to speak up at meetings with management.

"As much as I hate to say it, I'm not," Will states, his expression making it clear to everyone in the room that he is being sincere.

"Why?" Niall asks, his tone a little softer. "We were told that we could come out about it once we got popular enough as a band. We've sold out pretty much our entire world tour for next year and we've got a new album coming out in a few months. Is our fanbase still not big enough? Because last I checked we had millions of fans and the majority of them want Liam and I to be together."

"Yeah, haven't management heard of 'Niam' and 'Larry Stylinson' and all the other 'bromances' our fans love so much?" Louis cuts in before Will can respond. "I mean, honestly, Harry and I have been asked numerous times whether or not we're dating because the fans make it seem that way."

"Management has heard about the pairings some of the fans have made, but they have also seen the hatred towards those same pairings that revolve around issues with homosexuality. They don't want One Direction to be seen as negatively influential by the parents of the younger fans, but that is a very real possibility if the world learns the truth about Niall and Liam," Will reasons with the boys. He gives them all a few minutes for the words to sink in before speaking again. "I'm sorry that things have turned out this way, but I promise to talk to management some more about the subject. Don't expect much from them, though."

"Is that all?" Liam inquires, past ready to be gone from the meeting.

"We just have to go over a few things regarding the upcoming album and tour," Will replies, motioning to the papers and files on the conference table.

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*Louis' POV*

(later that night)

"Can you believe management?" I ask Harry once we get back to our shared flat. I don't know why it bothers me so much that they're keeping Niall and Liam from being open about their relationship, but it does. Maybe it's because they're like family. I ponder the possibilities for a few minutes before something out of the ordinary happens.Or maybe it's because that means you can't be open about your feelings, either, a voice in my head says.

"Well, I don't know," Harry says, speaking as slowly as always. "I obviously don't think it's fair for management to say that they can't show their feelings for each other in public, but I can kind of understand it I guess."

"That actually surprises me," I state.

"Why?"

I roll my eyes. "What about when you were dating Caroline and they got on your case about the age difference? It's kind of like that, isn't it?" I remind him.

"Oh, I hadn't thought of it like that. I guess. But Caroline and I also got a bunch of hate from the fans because of that, which hurt me even more because I hated seeing them send her hate, and age gaps in relationships aren't even as looked down upon as homosexuality is and always has been," Harry points out.

"If you're looking at it that way, you have to keep in mind that there will always be at least one person that disapproves of any relationship any of us is in. I mean, people send hate to Danielle and she's not even Liam's real girlfriend. They just send it to her because they seem to believe that it'll give them a better chance at dating one of us or something." I chuckle at my own last words simply because our fans don't seem to have any sense of logic.

"I suppose..." Harry trails off, his eyes starting to have a distant look to them.

"You alright Haz?" I ask, starting to worry. Did I say something wrong? Why would you care if he got upset over what you said?

He shakes his head slightly, clearing his thoughts before smiling at me. "Yeah, I'm fine, just thinking about how ridiculous our fans can be," he replies.

"They're crazy," I concede. "You sure that's it?"

He hesitates a moment, his smile faltering. "I-I don't... Yeah... Well, I don't know... I guess it's just really bothering me, now that I'm thinking about it, that management is preventing Niall and Liam from being open about their feelings. I'm just trying to understand how that must make them feel, y'know?"

I stop a moment, my breath catching as I try to figure out what he means by that exactly. "Yeah, I know," I murmur, my mind drifting towards thoughts that I'm not ready to consider at the moment.

At some point-I'm not sure when because I was lost in thought at the time-Harry gets up from his chair and goes into the kitchen, coming back a short time later with a cup o' tea in hand. He places it on a coaster on the coffee table while sitting down beside me on the sofa, the force of his movement on the couch startling me slightly. "Hey, Lou," Harry whispers, nudging me with his elbow before realizing that he's already got my attention.

"What is it, Haz?"

He motions towards the mug in front of me. "I fixed you some Yorkshire tea," he tells me.

I can feel a grin making its way onto my face as I pick up the mug of my favourite tea, breathing in its heavenly aroma. "Thanks, Harry. You're a good friend, but you really didn't have to do this for me." Too bad that's all you'll ever be.

"You seemed to be taking the news from management pretty hard, so I wanted to cheer you up a bit," he states as if anybody could have picked up on those emotions and known how to help. "You know I hate seeing you upset, Boobear," he adds.

"I know, just like you know that I hate when people hurt my Hazza," I retort, smirking at the lovely boy with the curls. But you don't get to know the reason because I'm only just starting to admit it to myself.