Lesbian Dancing After The Show: An Improviser's Non Improvised Life

Karen Black Finally Got Me.

TUESDAY, JULY 05, 2005 "Read You Like a Book" Day Two:

I finally got to sleep around midnight. I awake at seven in the morning all fidgety and nervous. I don't want to fuck this up. I so don't want to fuck this day up.

I leave with Hans around 7:45 and I ride with him all the way to 12th Street in Oakland to get on the Richmond Train to Berkeley. My call is 9:30.

I get to Downtown Berkley at 8:20. I got a shit load of time. So I get some coffee at Tully's and decide to just wait for the number 9 bus instead of taking a cab, "Just in Case."

I arrive in front of the production office at 8:40. Fuck it. I start walking to Bob's place up the street. I realize I hear my name. It is Patrick and another crewmember who are putting up signs to lead incoming car actors to Bob's Place. Big signs that say "RYLAB."

I joke with them and say I can't wait for some Berkeley Science student to accidentally pull into here.

I get to Bob's place and actors are already there at 9am. A lot of them from Los Angeles, who are either staying at the French Hotel, with friends, or just used to live in The Bay Area and are staying with family.

Karen Black is there. Tony Amendola is there. Ricardo Gil, and my wonderful Joe Bellan who lives here and just likes to be places early. (Who was part of The MOTHER FUCKING COMMITTEE).

There is a monster spread of food, coffee, fruit, bagels, brioche, muffins and everything that looks like you are the most important actor in the world. Many more new faces are there. Lots of tech staff. The guy with the video camera doing behind the scenes taping.

After all the talking and laughing and crowding into Bob's spacious home, we start to read at around 10:30am.

Danny Glover is running a little behind. He is bringing his grandson with him.

Before the table read we are gathering up bagels and coffee. In the kitchen there is Karen Black. She is pretty legendary in her own right. "Easy Rider." "Come back to the Five and Dime Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean." "Five Easy Pieces."

As a child, I remembered her from the ABC Movie of The Week "Trilogy of Terror."

When I was nine years old, "Trilogy of Terror" scared the ever-loving shit out of me. Karen Black was the nightmare I had for weeks. At nine, myself and every kid in that house watching this was screaming at Karen Black: 

Me: DON'T OPEN THE OVEN! DON'T OPEN THE OVEN! IKI TIKI DOLL IS IN THE OVEN!
Angel: (The wisest at thirteen) She is going to open the oven...
Me:  Nooooo! Don't OPEN THE OVEN (Close up of Karen Black and the oven)  NO...GET OUT. DON'T OPEN THE OVEN. THAT IKI TIKI DOLL IS NOT DEAD!  IT WILL NEVER BE DEAD! Don't. Open. THE OVEN!

(Karen Black opens the oven and a fireball of Iki Tiki Doll shoots out)

Me: AHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOoooo!
Angel: Told ya she was going to open the oven! 

(Watch Karen Black with gnarled hands pull the latch off the door, get a knife and wait for her mother to arrive. Close-up of Karen Black with a knife squatting and piercing the floor with that knife waiting for her mother to arrive. She smiles and has the teeth of the doll.)

Me: Noooooo! 
Angel: She's going to get her mom. (Grinning) She is coming to get you too.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!

The next morning, I woke up. The window in my room was open. My sister had poked three holes in the screen to make it look like "Karen Black: The Iki Tiki Doll" was trying to get in. How she could climb up the side of the building to a second story complex seemed impossible. But I believed it. This Iki Tiki doll could leap, jump, run fast and survive a broiler oven. I'm sure Karen Black Iki Tiki Doll could do the same.