He was her 'sun', the one who make her feel 'alive'. She was his 'spring', the one who made him feel 'matter'
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A story about Jung Hoseok, a ray of sunshine, who was unable to love himself.
Until one day, she came, his warm breeze of spring, Min Mae...
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🌸🌸🌸
HOSEOK
April, 15th 2018
I woke up with the usual slump and useless feeling toward myself. I groaned as I sat up on my small bed. My hair was tousled in so many weird way as possible. For fifteen minutes I gather some of my energy and soul that had left my body as I fell asleep.
Slowly, I rolled over out of my bed, walking toward the bathroom inside my room.
I twisted the knob, entered the smaller space.
I sighed at myself when I saw my reflection on the broken mirror. Yes, I had broke it a few months ago, not bothering to fix it because I hate to see myself clearly.
I opened the shelf behind the glass, took out a pill that might decrease my thoughts. I swallow it dry, hopefully this will help my mood swings to go away.
And it did.
I took a quick shower and wrapping the towel around my waist as a came out.
I saw how the sun peeked through my window, shining brightly illuminating my dimly light room.
Yesterday was a fine day. I got a fake date with Maehwa. Even though it was faked, I honestly enjoyed it.
Her smile brighten up my day. And what surprised me that she knew most of my friend. She knew Sunmi-noona, she knew Heechul-hyung. What a small world, wasn't it?
I let out another deep breath, opening my wardrobe and decided to just wearing a simple hoodie and a ripped jeans as today fashion.
Dressing up won't make me looks any better anyway.
I fell into another deep thought again as I slid my head inside the thick clothes.
"Let me take you home!" I offered and walked beside her accompanied by of the moonlight and the stars above us.
"Sure!" Maehwa nodded excitedly.
"Anyway, thank you for today." I said smiling at her.
"No problem, I enjoyed it." She said genuinely.
"I didn't get you in a trouble right? I mean, Heechul hyung seems disapproving is?" She shook her head at my statement.
"Just a bit, but don't worry. I've solved it. Just..." she trailed off, stopped her track staring at me.
"Just make sure he didn't know or anyone know our relationship is fake Hoseok..." she said in a worry tone.
"Because I'm sure Heechul gonna beheaded both of us." She laughed as she continue to walk.
"So, are we keep going to pretend?" I asked in confusion. I'm not complaining though. I actually, I don't know, maybe I do have a little crush toward her. Even if this just a fake, I would like to enjoy it some bit more.
"Yep, well, until maybe you got your own real girlfriend. Until that, we can stay pretend." She smiled at me, but I didn't know that her smile never actually reach her eyes.
"Deal." I offered her my hand.
"Deal." She shook it excitedly.
"How about you, Maehwa? Don't you have someone already...?" I asked feeling a lump inside my throat.
What if she had a boyfriend already?
"Nope. If I did, there is no way I'm agreeing with this in the first place." She laughed.
True though. And somehow, I felt kinda relieved, not really sure why.
We took a bus and drop out in front of our campus. I didn't realize the time had passed that fast because I was too immersed with our random chat on the way.
"Anyway, here we are." She said
"Let me take you until front of your dorm." I asked but she shook her head.
"It's alright! It's close by anyway." She said hurriedly.
"Bye Hoseok!" She waved and without I realize she had made her grand escape from me.
I chuckled a bit.
But it's already late, I won't let her walk alone. So I jogged until I finally met her back. I followed her until she entered her apartment building safely.
I stood in front of the gate as she walked up stairs.
I saw her on the second floor hallway, walking toward her room. When she twisted the knob, I decided to just go straight home. I yawned before turning my body to the back, but stopped when something caught my eyes.
Her door had already flew open when she almost reached for the door's knob and my eyes widened when I saw a male figure coming out of it.
I couldn't see clear who that was because I stood way too far. His hair was rather messy as if he just awake from his sleep, he only wore a sleeveless shirt. I saw him pulling her hand inside and slammed the door, harshly. It looked like he was mad, no, furious to be exact.
Why did she lie? I thought.
She had a boyfriend. Why would she lie?
I truly disappointed, feeling a bit burning inside my chest. I felt weird inside my stomach, as if someone just punched it hard, I felt I'm going to puke. I felt my blood rushed up to my head, I truly hate the fact that she even lived together with a man.
I truly hated the fact that she wasn't even mine. But I have no right to be jealous, because the fact was, I am no one.
I shook my head out of my thoughts. Even if she had a boyfriend, I have no rights to be mad. We are only pretending anyway. She probably only wanted to help my pathetic ass as a friendly gesture.
I grabbed my back and walked toward the door. I wore my shoes, crouched down to tied up the laces.
I walked outside and made sure the door had been locked before stormed out for another day of boring lecture.
I took a deep breath and did what I used to do.
I creeped out a fake smile and walked seemingly happy.
