My Disorder (Dipper Gleeful x Reader)

Chapter 21: Dipper's Past {Part 2}

Now, it's not just a soft voice, but a loud one. It always came with a flash of white and...

I felt a strong hand tighten around my arm, dragging me up and into the basement of the house. I smell a strong scent that gave me a slight headache.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!" I was thrown towards the cold cement ground, I looked up to see who the voice came from.

Father...

Father?

His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his usually neat and smart dress shirt is crumpled and his tie was undone yet still dangling around his neck. His kind face that used to tuck me in at night was replaced with a red and angry one.

He raised one of his hand and the next thing I knew, there was a sharp pain in my cheek.

No. No. I don't want to go back there.

Tears would stream down my cheeks whenever it happens.

Why is everything still so vivid?

One of the nurses would wrap her hands around me, hugging me close. I am safe. I am safe.

No, you're not.

Please, stop. I don't want to live in the past.

Please.

Let me go.

Please.

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My earliest memories were...confusing, to say the least. I remembered hospitals, doctors, nurses. I was broken and the doctors couldn't do anything about it.

Please, help me.

I told them I was hearing voices. They tried to hide it but I knew it made them anxious.

One day, I fell asleep while lying in bed. In my dream, I see a small boy, he cannot be older than 10. He has brown hair and brown eyes.

"Please help me," he begged. The voice, I recognise it. It was the voice that I hear every day.

As I was trying to come up with a way to react to that. Another boy appeared, he has white hair and eyes that were a mix of red and light brown.

He didn't say anything, standing still in the corner, peering at me with distrust in his eyes.

"You'll help me, right? Help me escape from my past..."

I did not know what to say but he sounded so desperate that I would have felt bad should I refuse.

"I'll try my best."

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"I..." Dipper paused, "I shouldn't have told you that."

His voice was lowered compared to before and you could hear a tinge of regret.

"Forget what you heard," he said, raising his voice a little. You looked at him in surprise, unable to comprehend the sudden change in attitude. One moment he was telling you his life story. The next, he was telling you to forget everything.

He closed his eyes and sighed, shaking his head while burying it in his hands, "Sorry, it's just..."

Come on, (Y/N), can't you tell it's a sensitive topic? Do something!

Isn't it amazing how fast the human brain can work? In a matter of seconds, you assumed the role of a counseller-slash-mother for a person you met less than a week ago.

"You want to talk about it?" you asked, suddenly, you felt like picking up a clipboard and being a therapist.

Dipper looked up and glanced at you. As usual, his eyes and overall facial expression didn't give away much. You realised that the only way his body betrays his feelings is through his voice.

"I guess...after we were diagnosed, my all the people that once treated me like family disappeared. Now, aside from Mabel, my uncles view me as a burden, like I was an accident, a stumbling block in Mason's already broken life."

"It must be difficult, Mabel doesn't seem like a person that cares a lot," you commented. There goes the therapist.

"Maybe that was why I got into show business. On stage, my fans know me as Dipper Gleeful -- the one and only sorcerer in town, not Dipper -- and alternate state of consciousness. But that wasn't enough, I was greedy, I wanted attention, I needed attention. So I started asking girls out, in their minds, I was what's important to them. It breaks my heart each time I have to throw them away but I didn't dare to allow them to know the truth, fear of being thrown aside was always lingering in my mind," Dipper ignored your comment and continued, already too deep into it to stop talking. You sat silently, listening to every word.

"Then I met you," hearing the topic going back to you, you perked up. As much as you hate to admit it, you were quite self-centred.

"I felt drawn to you, I wanted to stay with you. Which made my fear of losing you grow, I was prepared to bury everyone else and stay with you," he confessed. At least, you guess "confessed" is a word to describe it. Usually, "confessed" is made in a tone filled with regret and guilt but Dipper seemed to cover that completely.

"That's me, (Y/N), a self-centred, selfish person," Dipper said, "You wanted the truth, here it is."

Now hold on a sec, you thought, a guy just told you he has a chronic disorder and he loves you, how do you plan to react?

Welp, YOLO!

"Dipper," you reached out to touch his shoulder slightly, "I...I love you too."

You weren't lying, it was true. Despite everything, you still felt the same way you felt at the carnival.

"Look, I'm not perfect either. I..."

He threw people away because he was afraid of losing them...sounds familiar?

You recalled the day you found out about your brother's illness. You didn't understand what you felt back then, now you do. You pushed him away, became distant while clinging onto every moment with him. That was what made it painful, the knowledge that nothing lasts forever and that whatever you do, you can't change that fact.

Maybe that's the reason behind the connection you felt with Dipper. Two different people that couldn't be more different. A rich boy and an adventurous girl, both broken but in two different ways.

Maybe you weren't as different as you thought, the both of you has lost something dear and responded to it in the same way. Lying. Faking till you tricked everyone and yourself.

You don't care.

You don't care.

You don't care.

You don't care.

You do, don't you?

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Welp, that sucked but here you go, 'cher, give me a grade.

Sorry about that long wait, I didn't like it either but that block was so huge. You have no idea how many hours I spend on both my laptop and mobile, trying my very best to get something out.

I'm not going to mention anyone in this chapter so I apologise if you added this story to your reading list. I appreciate you a lot but please understand, it takes a lot of effort to do such a thing. I promise that I'll mention you in the future.

Hope you like this chapter, I don't blame you if you don't. This may be the worst chapter out there, mainly because I forced it out instead of letting words flow through me. Also, my autocorrect isn't on and I'm lazy to do a spell check, sorry.

If you read this far, good job, I love you, I appreciate your support. Every read really means a lot.

BTW, (bear with me while I shamelessly beg for stuff) this story currently has 393 votes, it will mean so much to get it to 400 votes!! Pretty please with a chapter on top!!! (Writer's block still there, don't get your hopes up)

Anyways, till next time, thank you for your time!!