Gone (an Ender's Game Fanfic) Book 1

21

After I fully healed, I was once again able to stand and help search the pod for everything that we needed. Heading into one of the bedrooms, I sit on the edge of the bed, replaying the kiss that Ender and I had shared last night. My heart started fluttering in my chest. Then I started to remember that no one has shown me love before..before him. Clutching my hand to my chest, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to make the tears stay in. But they betray me and slide out. I end up sobbing so hard that I am gasping for air, a spot on the bed damp from were my tears splattered.

"Elena?" Ender's voice jerks me to alert. I know that if I look at him, I will cry all over again. "Are you alright?" I hear his footsteps come to me. A hand on my shoulder.

"Stay away." My voice is raspy, but I don't care. I don't want him to see me like this.

"No. Elena look at me." Ender grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.

"Ender.. you'd never understand." I nudge away from him. "You are loved by everyone. While I.. I am nothing. And I will always be that. A nothing."

"That's not true. You are everything. You are strong and you are brave. You are smart and clever and a survivor. You are beautiful." Ender crouches infront of me, his eyes boring into mine.

"I killed someone." I whisper. Ender stays quiet. "Yes. It's different from what you did. You killed aliens. I killed a human. Someone who could've easily been family."

"Why did you kill this person?" Ender whispers back.

I look away. "He.. he hurt me." I swallow.

I feel Ender grip my hand as if I was dying all over again. "How? How did me hurt you?"

"He touched me." My heart tightens in my chest. Remembering that evil man. "He raped me. He raped me like I was his toy. A young, bastard toy. When he was done with me he would hit me and tell me I'm nothing and will always be nothing. I am nothing."

Suddenly, Ender pulls me into a hug, my face in the nape of his neck, his hands on my back. Warm and soft. Gentle and inviting. I close my eyes and cry. The rise and fall of each breath brings me comfort. 

"Ender?" I ask quietly.

Ender does'nt move. "Yes?"

"Do you really love me?"

"I think you know the answer." Then everything goes black.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to die, but I have to suffer first. Could this possibly get any worse? Of course it does. As my vision clears, something warm and wet drips onto my cheek. There's dust everywhere. I move my head slightly, but it hurts. But I still do it. I stop moving. I stop breathing. Everything in me stops. The warm liquid is blood. Ender, maybe five feet above me, hangs still, a peice of metal sticking out of his chest.

                                              End of Book 1