Sixty-Two - Linkin

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Sitting on the hardwood floors of my office, I hesitantly picked up the different pieces of my laptop from when it shattered after me throwing it across the room. The door to my office creaked open, it was only then Thierry knocked on the door. "I don't think I've ever seen you that mad before..."

I paused, my eyes didn't lift from the mess on the edge of the cream area rug. I didn't know what to say to him, I didn't want to say anything to him. My mind was working in overdrive trying to find an explanation. I could accept Thierry needing to leave for work. I wasn't even mad he was gone when I got hacked, just frustrated that it happened knowing that if he was around, he could have helped. I didn't care that the last few days I could feel the cold space in my bed, those were all little things which I could accept. What I couldn't accept, understand, was Thierry needing Ira for anything.

There was this dark, primal place inside of me which despised Ira. The truth was I was jealous. She had everything and never realized it. Here I was, on the sidelines feeling like I had nothing and watched my world fall apart. Ira brought me Thierry in the worst possible way and I couldn't handle feeling him slip through my fingers. "Linkin?"

"Just go," I breathed, shaking my head and finally closed my eyes.

"Don't do this," he sounded like he was begging, "Tina." He was.

Shaking my head I finally groaned and forced myself to look at him, the light from the hallway created a halo around him. "What? What do you want me to say? I'm glad you're back? Well, I'm not. I needed you, I'd be happy if you were here this morning. You weren't so I don't need you here now." I paused as I watched him look hurt, "Don't you have work to do or something because I know I do."

Instead of listening to me, the door opened more and Thierry walked in, "Tina, can we just talk?" I never should have told him my real name, but he admitted calling me Linkin in bed felt weird. "We got good answers, it was worth it."

My gaze dropped and when it did, Thierry stopped walking as he wiggled his toes in his pink flamingo socks. "It wasn't to me or to Stuart." I took another deep breath as he stared at me, waiting for something to fix what was wrong, to fix us. "I hope it was worth it, she was worth it."

"Worth it?"

"Everyone else thinks she is. Guess I'm the only one... Guess that makes me as good as Desmond." That thought left an awful taste in my mouth and I let out a shudder.

"Celestia? She wasn't worth it, the answers were."

I shook my head, "No, Ira." He seemed stunned into silence as I stood up and brought the pieces back to my desk. "You shou-"

"I didn't sleep with her if that's what you're thinking." The truth was, the thought crossed my mind. "Look, I know you've been through hell and back, especially with men and with people you care about. Everyone you've ever cared about, hurt you. I'm not going to do that. I'm not your family, I'm not Desmond." He was keeping his tone calm as he spoke and I gripped onto the edge of the table to hide my shaking hands. "I won't hurt you like them. You don't need tattoos to hide from me."

Pulling my shawl tighter around me, I closed my eyes. "Please..." I begged him, I wanted him gone. Memories of my family came rushing to mind and my throat felt tight.

Hands slid around me from behind, resting on my middle. "I love you, Linkin, I'm not going anywhere." Thierry breathed in my ear.

My back rested against his stomach, his chin on my head as he waited for me just to remember how to breathe. I could see my entire family in front of me, four siblings, my parents, and my grandfather. It was a picture, the one which hung on our wall. I remembered fighting about the number of tries it took to get the time delay to work so I was able to run into it. We lived together in a tiny 3 bedroom house. When I was born with my twin brother, we were placed in the attic. As we grew up, the attic changed and grew with it.

He was married, two kids of his own now. They had all moved on. The picture which I worked so hard on getting perfect was long taken down and replaced with one that I wasn't in. They were perfect without me in their lives. No more cops showing up at the door no more scares as I ran away time after time. Without me, they didn't have to pretend like they weren't terrified of me and that was before when I could still touch someone.

"I love you, every inch of you, always. Nothing will change that. Not an island, not a brain that makes you smarter than every person in the room. You're perfect to me and I'd never want someone else over you. I asked Ira to come with me, to help because it was her idea." My eyes opened and I turned my head to look at him, my eyes were glazed over with tears, none fell yet. "I'll come to you next time before doing anything. Alright?" I slowly nodded and turned around in his grip. His grip around me tightened as I slid my arms around his middle and closed my eyes again, his head back on mine. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"I needed you..."

"And I'll never forgive myself for that, but I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere."

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