It's 12:01 in the morning. Nothing I write is good enough. I can't remember how to spell words the words I type. Google doesn't capitalize it's I's. It's frustrating. I hate this very moment. I hate how itchy my scalp suddenly feels. I hate the pain that's edging it's way up the back of my head. I hate that I'm here even discussing this. I hate how intrusive you've become and how this moment right here is my life. Always thinking of you, and always wanting to not be so anxiety struck. I hate this smothering heat that itches in my face and lays stretched in my chest. I'm tired of having the same thoughts screw around my mind. I hate how much you invade the space which is my own, but I do not hate you. I do not hate how you drive past me without so much as a glance. I only hate that I cannot determine your engine's sound when I'm not around to witness because then no matter what, every sound is you.
January 14, 2018.
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I went through a period of time where this person wasn't on my mind, but then a YouTube comment of all things brought them back, as did the universe. So, sometime in 2018-2019 my mind calmed down on the subject but towards the end of last year a lot of things started coming back into my mind again. I'm so over these thoughts and feelings. I don't know if this is what it's like for everyone. I personally chalk some of it down to repetitive mental illness thoughts, but who knows. I might be making sound worse than it is, but I guess for me it's just that intense.
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About The Curly Haired Introvert
Non-FictionIf you're looking for an awkward sidekick this is my resume! Actually, I've been tagged and if you're here I probably tagged you... hehe, whoops! Lots of tags. Mendes Army gal. Fandom references. Monthly reading updates. Journal entries of past and...
