It's 12:01 in the morning. Nothing I write is good enough. I can't remember how to spell words the words I type. Google doesn't capitalize it's I's. It's frustrating. I hate this very moment. I hate how itchy my scalp suddenly feels. I hate the pain that's edging it's way up the back of my head. I hate that I'm here even discussing this. I hate how intrusive you've become and how this moment right here is my life. Always thinking of you, and always wanting to not be so anxiety struck. I hate this smothering heat that itches in my face and lays stretched in my chest. I'm tired of having the same thoughts screw around my mind. I hate how much you invade the space which is my own, but I do not hate you. I do not hate how you drive past me without so much as a glance. I only hate that I cannot determine your engine's sound when I'm not around to witness because then no matter what, every sound is you.
January 14, 2018.
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I went through a period of time where this person wasn't on my mind, but then a YouTube comment of all things brought them back, as did the universe. So, sometime in 2018-2019 my mind calmed down on the subject but towards the end of last year a lot of things started coming back into my mind again. I'm so over these thoughts and feelings. I don't know if this is what it's like for everyone. I personally chalk some of it down to repetitive mental illness thoughts, but who knows. I might be making sound worse than it is, but I guess for me it's just that intense.
ESTÁS LEYENDO
About The Curly Haired Introvert
No FicciónIf you're looking for an awkward sidekick this is my resume! Actually, I've been tagged and if you're here I probably tagged you... hehe, whoops! Lots of tags. Mendes Army gal. Fandom references. Monthly reading updates. Journal entries of past and...
