After | All15

The Not-So Royal Wedding

I stormed down the street angrily, snapping my arm out to slice the head off of an incoming zombie. I didn't falter in my step. I merely continued with my angry warpath.

Stupid, stupid boys...

And I even used my manners today! I said please! Well, I said, "Bitch, please..." But that still counts!

Growling to myself, I sliced up another zombie.

Nathan didn't have to rub it in that we haven't been married yet! He is a ginger, I am a ginger. It's that simple! We're destined to be together! Unless he dies. Then I'd have to marry one of the other boys. They're all so, so gorgeous. I mean, they seem kinda slow in the head, but they're so stinkin' handsome! And they actually seem like nice people. Well, the ones that weren't uptight or grumpy or both. Still, though, they all seem to be good people, the rarest breed of human.

I sighed to myself, slowing down as I reflected on the fact that I was definitely not a good person. Well, the good news is that my coffee will never go cold in hell.

Wait. I can't go to hell. Satan still has that restraining order on me. Damn.

Groaning, I snapped my arm out to flick all the rotting, brown blood off of my sword and slid it into its sheath.

An idea came to me like lightning. Literally. I staggered back slightly and began to grin like a loon. Damn, I'm a genius. I let out a laugh, absolutely delighted with my plan. Oh, it was so genius... Really, I'm the smartest person I know. And the funniest. And the scariest. I'm not afraid of anyone but myself. That motherfucker is scary.

I was going to marry Nathan.

And he wouldn't even know what hit him. Well, besides me. I would hit him if he didn't cooperate.

Don't worry, though. I never would've really hurt him. I'm an angel, I swear. Huh? The horns? Oh, darling, those are just to hold up the halo.

Gleefully grinning, I skipped all the way back to the house where we'd been staying.

"I'm home!" I call out joyously. "Everyone come and bask in the glory of my presence!"

"Zoya?" Brandon calls back, the first one to respond.

I roll my eyes and retort, "Who else would it be? Do you know some other deadly, gorgeous, genius, sarcastic redhead? Other than Nathan?"

"WHAT?!"

"She speaks only the truth," Nathan announced smugly, entering the room with a grin.

"Did you just call Nate 'deadly, gorgeous, genius, and sarcastic?'" Marc asked in disbelief.

Shrugging my shoulders, I grinned innocently and sweetly replied, "I can neither confirm nor deny that. I never admit to a single damn thing. Not even in my head. You never know who the hell's listening."

"Zoya, you can't just run out like that," North yelled, storming in the room himself.

"Aww, was Northy all worried?" I cooed, booping his nose.

A look of horror dawned on his face and Lucian burst out in hysterical laughter.

"Here, I'll make a deal with you all," I announced kindly. "I won't run out if you fuckers don't give me a reason to."

"Shit. She swears like I do," Gabriel said in awe, his crystal eyes staring at me all wide and glittering with mischief.

"Wrong, you swear like I do," I corrected him. "I knew myself before I knew you so you swear like me."

"But I knew myself before I knew you," Gabriel argues.

I stared at him blankly.

"It's too early for this thinking shit."

"Ms. Ventrova, it's nearly six in the evening," Owen informed me uselessly.

"I stand by my previous statement," I declared firmly before muttering to myself, "Way too early for this shit..."

I noticed Axel's smokey self standing in the corner as he silently studied me.

"Don't study me," I told him with a smirk. "You won't ever graduate."

"So it seems, Ventrova," Axel agreed, his stern, smokey voice drawing my attention.

Damn, I just want to marry his voice. And Nathan's hair. And Lucian's chocolate eyes. And Marc's multi-color eyes. And... You know what? I should just kidnap all of these guys and force them to marry me.

I grinned evilly at the thought. Oh, that would be so much fun...

"What are you thinking about to put such a look on your face?" Raven asked in Russian, snatching me from my thoughts.

My eyes darted to the large, tattooed man. My eyes latched onto the tribal marks inked onto one of his arms.

"You know," I murmured to him thoughtfully. "I have marks just like those on my thigh."

His already dark eyes darken considerably and he replied, "You could show me sometime."

I shrugged, not caring. He must be a tattoo enthusiast. He's definitely not the first one to ask to see my tattoos. People are strange like that.

"Zoya, quit talking about me!" Gabriel exclaimed.

"Oh, but it's so much fun," I teased, my lips curving into a playful grin.

"Zoya... What did we talk about?" Wil reminded me, bugging his eyes at me.

I rolled my eyes and mimed zipping my lips closed. Wil is always so paranoid.

"Now if you'll excuse me," I announced. "I'm going to go open up some cans of food for dinner. Who's eating?"

In an instant, everyone was sitting at the dining table looking at me urgently. With a short bark of laughter, I commenced the plan.

I grabbed a bunch of cans and got to work opening them before bringing them out to the boys. I made sure to give Nathan the can with the fruit. Not quite a fruit cup, but so damn close that it must count.

Inwardly, I was leaping up down and shrieking with maniacal laughter. Outwardly, I was cooler than a cucumber and hotter than a supermodel. So same as always.

Nathan and I are now engaged!! Now, for the wedding...

After I have handed the cans out to everyone, I sit down next to Nathan and begin asking him questions.

"So, Nathan, do you like fruit?"

"Yeah, why?" Nathan said, eying me suspiciously before trading his can for Victor's spaghetti o's.

"Hmm? No reason. Do you have red hair?" I asked.

"Obviously."

"Do you like animals?" I pressed.

"Doesn't everyone?" Responds Nathan.

"Do you enjoy eating?" I continued, patiently waiting for the proper answer.

Squinting at me suspiciously, Nathan answered, "I do."

"I DO!" I yelled at the top of my lungs before clearing my throat and calmly saying, "Uhh, I mean, I do too."

Oh, yes. I am most definitely a genius. Now if only there was a wedding cake...