Perfection - The Oasis Project Book 1 (Complete)

Forty - Ira

I sighed as my heartbeat quickened and the stars returned to my vision. There weren't a lot of words that I could force out of my throat. "Phone... The news. 5-1-3-9, um..." I let my head spin a little before continuing the passcode. "8-0-8-2."

Linkin picked up my phone from the ground and unlocked it. She frowned as she scrolled through the article I had open.

"I knew that guy," I said, rubbing my forehead to stop it from exploding. "If he hadn't gone for a swim that day, I wouldn't be alive. Celestia tried to say that she was trying to save me from drowning, but I think he saw what happened. She killed him." Tears were running down my face again, and Linkin rubbed small circles on my back. "Fuck, Linkin, it never stops."

"You're safe here," Linkin said. Somehow, she sounded so sure. "Nobody would find you here."

It was the reassurance I needed. I leaned into her touch and felt more myself. "I'm sorry, Linkin," I whispered, hoping she wouldn't ask me to elaborate. "None of it was your fault."

There was silence, but I felt that I was understood.

♟♙♟♙

I paced around the living room, grateful for the darkness. After sending Linkin off to sleep, I was restless; the English countryside was too quiet and the bad memories kept coming back.

The floor gave a creak and I swore quietly, shifting my weight onto my toes. When I finally made it to the edge of the living room, my back had a thin layer of sweat. I peered at the windows as if it was already daytime. There was a latch to close the window from the inside, but no locks. But then again, if Celestia wanted to break in, she could always smash the window, or try the door.

"You think she'll come here?" Stuart said behind me. I hadn't even noticed him coming downstairs.

"Sorry I woke you," I said, licking my lips nervously and evading the topic.

"It's okay." With his arms stretched out in front of him, Stuart felt his way to the couch. The moon wasn't too bright over here, and he sat down with an empty smile. "Ira, are you worried about Celestia finding you?"

I shrugged, before realizing that he couldn't see. "Not really, but I've got to find her."

He froze. "Is that why you left?"

"Yes. Sort of." I sighed. I took a seat next to him but curled up against the armrest. "You know, I've been thinking that maybe some people are bad for a reason. They take care of all the madness in the world so the good ones can live in peace."

"You're not a bad person, Ira." Stuart frowned but didn't look at me.

I chuckled mirthlessly. "You know all the things I've done. Even you are a bit scared of me."

"You had to survive." He waited a long while before he said, "I'm sorry about your friend."

"Linkin told you already?" I sat upright.

Stuart gave a short chuckle. "No, but she sent me a text at 3:30 telling me what happened and that I should be extra nice to you in the morning."

I rubbed my exposed legs, my eyes filling up again. I'd seen Linkin's walls fall right before my eyes. Under her feistiness, she was loyal and deeply caring. "You and Linkin are exactly where you should be. You deserve this new life."

"So do you."

I sighed and gave up resisting. "It's hard to imagine it when you don't know what it's like."

"But you could try," Stuart almost pleaded, then looked away to regain his composure.

"I could try." Knots formed behind my ribs and inside my stomach. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I couldn't move. "I'm sorry. I've made a mess again."

"You're forgiven." Some life crept into his smile this time as he nudged me in the arm. "Welcome to England. It's good to have you back."

"It's good to see you both." A little of the tension dissipated. "So tell me what you do here? Still a shrink?"

"You make me sound boring, poker legend."

Stuart explained that he'd quickly built up a wide base of clients since he moved here with Linkin. It was a lot different than what he was used to, but his dad's side were originally from the UK and he found it interesting to see where that side of his family used to live. After a while, Stuart realized that he should catch some sleep before the next workday, since he didn't cancel tomorrow's appointments like he did for today. He walked me up the moonlit stairs, quietly telling me where to step to not wake Linkin. We got to my door and I opened my mouth to say goodnight.

"Ira," Stuart said. Before I could answer, he pulled me into a hug and rested his chin on my shoulder. He was warm, and a scent of cedar lingered about him. "You matter to me – and Linkin – a lot more than you think."

I sighed and leaned into his chest, hugging him back. Although Linkin had lost her sense of touch, Stuart and Linkin were by far the more frequent huggers. Being squeezed tight by Stuart brought back memories, of how he'd calmed me from a panic attack, how he'd been there through my near-death experience, how he took care of me after I'd been hit. He was so much more than the unreadable doctor on Dell Island, so much more than the empty shell that he came to be.

"I'm sorry," I said again. My voice was small. "I won't do that again."

"I'm just glad you came back, Ira," was all he said. Then he straightened up, smiled at me, and I noticed a sorrowful glint in his eyes as he turned to head down to his bedroom.