Battle of the Sexes

14. The Sneak

Jess and I got another earful from Mom that night. She was disappointed – oh so disappointed – in both of us for the way we'd behaved.

"Mom, we're eighteen," Jess emphasized for the umpteenth time. It still wasn't doing any good, sadly.

"Just tell me one thing – did you have sex with him?"

Jess and I exchanged a nervous look.

"Who are you asking?" I asked.

"Both of you."

Jess immediately began shaking her head. "I wasn't ready. All this happened ... before anything else happened. I swear."

Mom squinted at her, and I was surprised that she seemed to be buying it. "Alright," she went, before turning to stare me down. "What about you, Abby?"

"No, of course not," I replied, mortified.

Jess laughed. "Mom, she's a virgin."

Mom cocked a brow at her.

"I mean ... we both are."

"I certainly hope you haven't been getting up to the sort of pornography that's in that book of yours," she said to me.

"How do you know what sort of pornography is in my book?" 

"Everyone at church, obviously," she said with a cool shrug.

"And how do they know what sort of pornography is in my book?"

"Alright, that's enough. Do you two even know what sex is? Do I need to get a video and show it to you girls?"

"Mom, no," I interrupted, holding up both hands. "We had sex ed talks at school."

"And did they mention that abstinence is the best form of contraception?"

"Uh ... sure."

"Good. I mean, I didn't have sex with anyone but your father, and that was when I was – well, never mind. It doesn't matter how old I was."

"Mom, please – you don't have to worrry," Jess tried to assure her. "Jamie's behind bars, and I really just want to take a break for a while, you know? No boys. Not for a long, long time."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Ha!" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"That's not very encouraging of you, Abby," Mom chided.

"Sorry, I – "

"We still haven't talked about this Sam Delaney character of yours."

"He's leaving town, Mom. If that doesn't make you go 'Hallelujah', I don't know what will."

Mom stared at me for a moment, then switched her gaze between the both of us. "You both are grounded for a month."

"Both of us? Even after ... " Jess complained. "Both of us??"

Mom pinched the sides of her nose, looking very tired in that moment. "You're twin sisters, so you both get punished."

"What sort of logic is that?"

"Maybe next time, it'll teach you two to keep each other out of trouble."

There was nothing else to do but accept our fate. Jess and I both knew that. After the end of The Great Lecture, we trudged upstairs, not saying anything as we climbed side by side.

"I'm supposed to go out with Sam tomorrow," I said mournfully.

"So sneak out."

I sighed. "I can't do that."