Subject Me To Life [Book One] ✔️ *EDITING*

Chapter Twenty-Five

        I grind my molars together as I focus on the faint sound of the fading rain. "I know what I need to do, Kota," I bite lightly. "I just— I don't know how to explain it. I don't get you."

        The blonde notices my frustration rising, I can tell by the way he watches me cautiously. I try to calm myself down because killing Dakota wouldn't be the smartest idea, although right about now it seems like a good one. "Okay, alright, it doesn't matter." He moves so he sits on his knees opposite me, his hand resting on my shoulder. "You don't have to explain it."

        I'm not sure why he's acting as if I'm a wounded animal, but it only makes me even more fucking annoyed. I was fine, I just needed to talk myself out of breaking his nose, or better yet— damaging his spinal cord. I don't need to be coddled. He's only making it worse.

        "I swear to everything that's holy if you don't fucking move I'm going to kick you out this goddamn tree," I threaten as I clench my fists to stop from doing it. I want to hurt him so bad it's almost overwhelming. Why is he in my space?

        He holds his hands up in surrender and moves so he's at my side, though he gives me much more space. "Sorry, I'm not used to comforting people so..." he looks me over, his lip pulled between his teeth as he appears to be thinking of a word to finish his sentence. "You," he finally says.

        The fuck is that meant to mean?

        "I mean, I don't comfort people often, but when I do it's usually Lilah and, well, you two are completely different people, obviously." He's rambling and it's annoying me. "You clearly don't like physical contact, which I'm not surprised by really, but Lilah does, so I'm used to—."

        "Will you shut the fuck up?" I snap as he continues to mumble his nonsense. I don't give a fuck why he thought it was a good idea to "comfort" me, all that matters is that he doesn't fucking do it again. And why, oh why is he talking so fucking much? Does he not realise it's annoying?

        He clears his throat, and the sheepish expression he once had is now replaced by his usual, blank one. "Sorry," he rasps out.

        I close my eyes and exhale— again with the fucking apologies.

        It's already been decided, this session has gone to shit, and it's all Dakota's fault.

____

        Stars were never something I had liked. Not really. They're small and bright and they seem to make people happy— I don't like them. I never really understood why some people are so fucking fascinated by them, either. To me they're insignificant, to others they're the most precious thing in the entire fucking world— I don't like it. But tonight, all I can seem to do as I lay flat against the roof of my rented house is stare up at them as I'm sure many other people all over the world were doing.

        Well.... maybe that fascinated me a little; how we're all looking up at the same sky, no matter who or where we are. But it also gives me a small twinge of anxiety. They're probably staring up at the same sky, as well.

        It always makes me shiver with disgust and make my stomach churn with so much hate.

        They'll find me some day no doubt.

        I know that. I had known it since the very first moment I was able to leave. Or perhaps I'm using that term too loosely— it was more of an escape than anything else. However, no matter what way it was to be looked at, it never changes the fact I know my time being somewhat normal is limited. I've made plans, ones I would like to carry out, but in the back of my mind I know that it's just wishful thinking, something to keep my mind off the reality of my situation, I suppose.