Deadpool 2 X Reader

Chapter 10: The Suspicious Soap

Your P.O.V
"Not working at all..." Wade said, staring into the fridge. You looked up from your plate of waffles and bacon, syrup sticking to the sides of your mouth. "Masking tape is no friend to chilled aluminum." Wade continued, reaching into the fridge and withdrawing a small container. In a swift motion, he tore the label off and slammed the container on the granite counter. "Velcro. Color-coded, efficient, environmentally friendly." Yukio turned and looked in the direction of Nega and yourself. "Who's he talking to?" "Why is he dressed as a registered sex offender?" Nega added before you had the change to comment.

Wade turned and faced the three of you. "Can we focus for a moment ladies? We need to talk about next month's meal plan." You groaned, slumping down in your seat. "Wade this is soooooo borrrring!" "Hey! Ok, I know what you're about to say. Obviously everyone hated the civiche. I read the suggestion box-" Your eyes widened for a moment, trying to suppress the flashback of you studying everyone's different handwriting styles and the comments you left in the box. You were fairly certain you had been the only one to use the box, besides Colosuss of course. That dude was blindly supporting Wade for everything he did. Hell, if Wade decided to breathe Colossus would compliment how well he was adapting.

Luckily, before Wade could continue, Nega spoke up. "I'm going to stop you right there. I see through this weak act." Colosuss walked into the room, done with his morning exercises for the day, and bee-lined for the counter. "You may have fooled Colosuss with this nice-guy sh*t, but not me." Yukio gave a small pout and elbowed her girlfriend. "Don't be mean." "Be cool NTW." Colossus said, hand firmly grasped around a glass. "No no no, let her go." Wade said, raising his finger. You slowly picked up a piece of bacon, crunching on it as quietly as possible as Wade continued with his speech.

"Let her go. It's ok. She has a right to be skeptical. Look at me!" Wade gestured to his face. "I'm a target. You know, historically, mischief has been by mistress. I can understand. But like to think..." Wade gave a watery smile. "That you guys have really rubbed off on me. I like to think I've rubbed off around you too." Nega squinted and stared at her girlfriend protectively, looking for a reaction out of the ordinary. You squinted as well. Phrasing was key with Wade and that phrasing... was MIGHTY suspicious. "A lot." Wade whispered, finishing his sentence. Everyone was quiet. "For the first time in a long while, like me." Wade nodded at Nega. "I accept your apology." Nega frowned. "I never apologized." "I was talking to your heart."

"See!" Colossuses interrupted. "You're no lost cause you thought! I'm proud. You're everything I knew you could be." "Calm down there Colossus, Wade can only have his dick sucked by one person at a time." "Y/N!" Wade scolded gently. He then turned to Colossus. "Thank you Colossus." He said, voice cracking. He quickly sighed. "Just trying to be he world's best X-man. Sorry, X-person." He glanced over at your group around the table again. "Hmm. Something wrong with the soap." Colossus said, pressing the top of the bottle. "It's fine I just refilled it. Just give it a few more pumps there." Wade walked to the doorway of the room before turning around and clapping his hand before a quick bow. "Now, if you excuse me, it's dust bunny season and I'm hunting wabbits."

Yukio grinned and waved as you and Nega watched on skeptically. "Bye Wade!" She said cheerfully. You turned to Nega, voice low enough so neither Yukio or Colossus, who had finally pumped out some 'soap', could hear. "I suggest taking a break from using any white soaps for a while.... or the occasional red or pink ones." Nega nodded and scrunched up her face in disgust, turning her head to face yours. "Agreed." She said curtly.  Yukio turned her head, staring at the two of your questioningly and Nega only leaned over and kissed her on the nose. Taking another bite of your breakfast, you watched curiously as Colossus began to wash his glass with the soap, and hoped, for his sake, it wasn't what you thought it was.

A/N: So yea, fun fact, in that scene Yukio and Nega have cups saying 'I'm with her' with arrows pointing to each other and I thought it was so cute!  Also, I've had to switch back to my system of one story chapter per week which means, because I'm writing two stories right now, this one will be published every two weeks.  I really hate doing that but I don't really have a choice, school being as busy as it is and all.  Anyways, can't wait to publish some more!
~ <3 <3 ApocalypseRaccoon