The door opens and talking fills my ears. "You okay Bren?" I hear Dallon ask as he sits beside me. I lift my head to look at him and he frowns. "Hey don't cry, cmere." He says, and pulls me into a hug. Usually I wouldn't just break down crying but I hadn't slept, I'm stressed, and I have a lot on my mind. I feel terrible in every single way possible, and I'm terrible at holding things in. "You okay, B?" I hear Zach ask, and I bury my face into Dallons neck. I didn't feel okay. "No." I mumble, and wince as my voice had cracked. Dallon rubs my back in an attempt to comfort me, and I remember that Sarah will probably be here any moment.
I pull away and wipe at my eyes, pressing my palms to them. I can cry later when I'm alone in my hotel room. Dallon kept his hand on my back, and I sit normally, and he moves his arm from my back to around my shoulders. He was acting like an over protective boyfriend and the thought almost made me smile. The door opens and Sarah walks in, waving hi to everyone. "Hey Brendon." She says with a small smile. "Hey swee-" she didn't let me finish. "Can we talk out in the hallway?" She asks and I stand up, and look at Dallon and he offers me a small smile. I follow her out into the hallway and she seemed to be in thought.
"Are you gay?" She asks and I don't know why the question didn't surprise me. Am I? The more I think about it, I think I am. Dating Sarah feels like a chore anymore, and I honestly think of her as a friend more than my girlfriend. I think that's how it always been and I was just too indenial. "I don't know." I state honestly and she sighs. "So you don't love me then?" She asks and I shake my head. "I didn't say that, I do." I say. Only as a friend. "Then show me that you do." She says and I wanted to cry again. I didn't say anything and she bites her lip. "You love Dallon more though." She says softly and I look at her.
"I'm not even being bitter anymore, I can see it. Everyone can by this point." She says and I didn't know what to say. "When you're off tour, we need to seriously sit down and have a long talk okay? I love you." She says and I nod. "I love you too Sarah." I say and pull her in for a hug. It was a quick hug, and she kissed me on the cheek, and walked away. One cue the door opened and we were on our way to find a hotel to stay at for tonight.
!
When we got to the hotel, the first thing I did was threw myself into the bed, and lied there doing nothing. I felt extremely sad and I just wanted to disappear. I felt sick. And gross. I'm cheating on my girlfriend with my best friend and I don't regret it. Cheating is so wrong, it's so so wrong. Yet here I am, fucking things up for myself. I could've just told her how I feel and that would be that. We would be broken up and I wouldn't feel guilty still. After tour I'm gonna. I have to. I could stop what I'm doing with Dallon, sure. I didn't want to though. I've wanted him for so long and he's here, and I'm already hooked on him. I don't ever want to lose him.
I go over to the mini fridge, and take out the tiny little bottles of liquor that were in there, and took out two beers. I'm not gonna get wasted, just tipsy, ease my mind a little bit. That didn't go as planned. I wasn't drunk but still a bit more tipsy then I had planned. I was still aware of what I was doing, what was happening and my vision wasn't all fucked up. The room was barely spinning and I could talk without slurred speak. I'm fine. I take off my clothes so that I'm just in my boxers and lay in bed. Dallon said he's probably not gonna come to my room because of Kenny seeing us last time.
I miss Dallon already. Krnny can fuck off honestly. I didn't know where my phone was and honestly right now, that's probably a good thing. I don't wanna end up admitting things I don't wanna to people who don't need to hear them. I don't wanna do anything that I'll regret in the morning. Which I won't because again, I know what's going on, and I know what I'm doing. Everything is chill right now. I might as well sleep right? A knock is heard and I look over. "Who is it?" I call back in hopes they'll tell me so I don't have to get up. I'm not answering it if it's someone I don't wanna see right now.
"Its me." I hear Dallon say and I smile and get out of bed. He's someone I definitely want to see right now, Dallon's someone I always want to see. I pull open the door and step aside, letting him in. I immediately pull him in for a kiss, pressing my body against his. He pulls back surprised and I giggle. I fucking giggled. "Wow Bren, calm down. Are you drunk?" He chuckles and I shake my head. "No, you're just fucking hot." I say. "I can taste the beer." He says. "Only had 4 shots and two beers. I'm far from drunk." I explain and he nods. I pull him back in for a kiss, cupping his face with my hands.
It started to get heated, and I run my hands from his face down his sides, and I grip the end of his shirt. He pulls away to look at me, and I bite my lip. "You wanna.. are you sure?" He asks in between heavy breathes and without hesitanting I nodded. Of course I wanted to. If I didn't, I would've been asleep, cuddled up in his arms by now. He pulls me back in for a kiss, and grabs my hips, leading me over to the bed, not breaking it. He gently lies me down, climbing on top of me. "And you're postive?" He confirms as he pulls away, and I nod, running my hands up his sides.
"110%" I say and he attaches his mouth to my neck. This was something I probably would regret come morning but fuck it. He's here, he's on top of me, and there's no where else I'd rather be then here in this moment. Even though the mess that would follow would bring both of us hell.
Authors Note
Writing the last part made me cringe so bad while writing it dont ever expect smut out of me lmaooo
I only write suggestive scenes because it'll fit the book and going out of my comfort zone is needed sometimes
Kenny is a nonce pass it on
Thanks for reading♡♡
-E💕
Chapter 5
Start from the beginning
