Sweetener

"Welcome to mi casa" Pete said tossing his keys onto the table.  "Casa de Wentz" He said. 

"Casa de makeout session on the couch?" I asked.

"Si" he pulled me against him tight and smirked at me.  We'd been messing around for about two weeks.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't really care about him.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't like him a lot.  I'd be lying if I said the way I felt didn't scare me though.  It scared me a lot.  I hugged his neck and started to kiss him almost desperately.  I liked the feeling I got when I kissed him.  It made my stomach go wild, in a good way.  I felt kind of lightheaded too.  He pulled his mouth from mine, and kissed my neck in all the spots he'd learned I liked.  I'd also be lying if I said we hadn't slept together, because we had.  A lot actually.  I knew he wanted more.  It was almost like he was just happy to have what we had right now.  But, I knew he'd get sick of just sex and talking. What could I say, I just didn't want a relationship. 

"Uhm" I mumbled gently "I just, don't feel like sex today" He pulled back "Can we just, talk?" I smiled.  He nodded and held me tightly.  I liked the way he held me too.  "How was your day?"

"It was nice" He said "Better with you around"

"Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Hm?" He asked as we sat on the couch, me on his lap. 

"Your ex, did you love him?" I asked.  He stared ahead at the wall.

"I did" he said.  "Did you love your ex?"

"I don't know.  I mean, maybe at first.  But, after a while it was comfortable.  We always broke up and just ended up back together" I said "This time though, I think it's really over.  Which is good" I pressed my forehead against his gently.  I closed my eyes and smiled. 

"I think, I know that we're not truly together and whatever, but it would just absolutely crush me if you did.  If that makes sense" He said. 

"It makes sense" I said gently.  "At this point, I think you being with anyone would kill me, if that makes sense"

"Then why won't you be with me?" he asked.

"Because, with my ex, I should've waited to be in a committed relationship.  I should've fooled around to make sure it was what I really wanted.  Thats what I have to do this time.  And if you really want me you'll wait, if not you can feel free to leave any time and find someone who'll dive in quicker" I said.  He frowned at me as I opened my eyes.  "Or do you just love me because I'm beautiful?" I smiled.

"Or are you beautiful because I love you?" he asked.  Cinderella.  Rogers and Hammerstein.  He understood my reference. 

"Figure it out" I said gently. 

"I'd wait a million years for you" He said gently. 

"Prove it" I pecked his lips and got up "I'm exhausted, so I should either go home, or go to your bedroom"

"I think you should go to my bedroom" he said.  I smiled and started up the stairs.  He followed me up.  His large house had many rooms, and his was the one in the middle.  I flopped on his bed.  He stared at me from the doorway.  "You make my bad days good.  I'd marry you right now if I could"

"That'd be your worst mistake" I said.  He walked over to me and sat with me. 

"I don't think so" he said. 

"Pete, it's been two weeks since we met.  You're absolutely nuts" I said. 

"Patrick you're the one" he said.

"I'm not!" I yelled standing up.  He stared at me in shock.  "Not the one, I'm not" I grabbed my keys from my pocket.  "I have to go" He grabbed my hand before I could leave. 

"Wait, I'm sorry" he said "Don't go"

"You're so fucking crazy Pete" I snapped "Sometimes I can't handle you"

"I'm sorry" he said "Don't leave me too" I felt sad after he said that.  I dropped my keys on the floor and sat back down on the bed. 

"I'm not leaving.  You just have to take things slower Pete" I said "We're not dating"

"Yet" he said.  "I get what I want Patrick, I want you" he said seriously.  He stared at me with a determined face.  It made me want him more.  That scared me too.  "I mean it"

"Okay" I whispered "Well, then, I'm excited to see you try" I crawled under his blankets with a smirk on my face.  I knew what game I was playing.  It was fun.  I felt him grab me and pull me to him.  He started kissing my neck which got a large smile from me. 

"Try, and succeed" he said.  "Feel like sex yet?"

"Mhm" I mumbled biting my lip.