the grocery - bts crackfic

five

"hes such a fucking asshole i swear!" jin ranted to a tired namjoon.

"and why is that?" the boss sighed. as much as he hated the manager's rants, he loved hearing drama.

"he had the AUDACITY to call himself handsome!" seokjin exclaimed as threw an apple at jimin. where'd the apple come from? no one knows. no one gives a shit. it's just there for throwing purposes.

"bitch who the fuc—" yelled out a pissed jimin who was fixing his hair.

"me bitch. anyways, as i was saying joon, im his roommate! and he has the audacity to call himself handsome— i cannot." jin dramatically placed a hand over his heart and pretended to cry.

"i— i— feel so disrespected in that household, i nev-never knew such cruel people existed- they scare me so much na-namjoon." jin stuttered and handsome sobbed as he put his hand on namjoon's shoulder.

"okay thats my cue to leave—" namjoon blushed furiously and walked away and then proceeded to slap jimin.

"hmph, even a straight guy manages to fall for me like that, not surprised though." jin pep-talked.

"can everyone stop hitting me? i feel abused!" the employee yelled. flailing his arms around like noodles.

"lol he looks like those air balloon thingys you see on the streets." taehyung whispered over to jungkook, whos arm was on him.

"true. anyway, have you heard about timothy?" the stocker asked.

"who?"

"ugh, you're so late. timothy? the banana that was saran-wrapped by that annoying customer we had once? yeah, you know that shit rotted immediately!"

"woah— the hell! im pretty sure yoongi hyung drew something on that banana, i found some markers in the cashier desk earlier and some fruits that he drew on."
taehyung spilled.

"no way bro—"

"yes way—"

"no."

"yes."

"no."

"yes."

"are you gay?"

"yes—wait shit-"

"HAH! TAEHYUNG IS GAY GUYS!" jungoo yelled out running away from taehyung.

yoongi eyed the two running around in the drinks section. he was not amused. "fucking idiots." he muttered to himself as he stocked some nuggets.

"HELLO? RING RING RING RING RING RING RING, BANANA PHONE!" and alas, a wild hoseok was running down aswell coming back from the restrooms.

"not this again—" yoongi uttered before he was hit in the face with a banana.

—

namjoon sighed as he looked through the cctv's.

"i told you we should shove them in the freezers." jin smh-ed as he sat back on his flip chair and checked himself in his pocket mirror.

the boss pinched his nose, "im fine."

—

thank you sm for 1k reads. i love you all with my heart. xoxo, mins