Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

48. What do girls like?

"Yeah, but flowers." Corinne repeated mockingly and at the same time disgustedly. "Flowers, babe ..." she laughed, "come on, you're not cheap like that. Flowers are for cheap-ass men who don't even feel like making an effort. If you love her, you'll fight for her."

"It's not like I haven't." I argued, frustrated. "I mean, hello? I've been worse than friendzoned, I've been ... roommate-zoned, fuck-buddy-zoned." I sighed heavily. "There's only so much rejection even I can take."

"Don't take it as rejection," Corinne argued, getting serious for a moment, "take it as proof that she might be in it for the long haul."

"How? She keeps on rejecting every effort I make at getting closer."

"Do I need to remind you your misdeeds?"

I rolled my eyes as I got out of the building, needing to find some other token of apology, something better, something ... more specific for Tara. "I didn't even kiss Sheila back, I told you. I hesitated for like, one or two seconds."

"Well, that was one or two seconds too many." Corinne scoffed. "Luke, this girl is traumatized. Do you get that?" She paused, and I somewhat sensed where she was going. "I know something about that kind of issue."

"Cor ..."

"When you spend your early life being told you're not enough, you start believing it. Especially when it comes from high sources."

"Like your own mother ..." I murmured, recalling the words Tara let slip about the things her mom tells her. If I were to ever meet this woman, I'd give her a piece of my mind.

"Exactly." My friend agreed. "Pretty much all the people she's let in have hurt her, humiliated her, made her feel worthless. A few compliments from a hot guy won't change that, babe." I nodded to myself, agreeing with Corinne, but also feeling desperate for anything I could do to break the cycle. "She's not me, Luke," my friend continued, "her insecurities are way more deeply rooted."

"Body dysmorphia?" I wondered out loud.

"Bitch mother, more like." Corinne scoffed. "When your own mom says you're worth nothing, especially from a young age, you don't have the means to disagree. Cos, I mean, it's your mom, she made you, if even she thinks you're a waste of oxygen, how can you believe the opposite?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "I don't even know the details, but seems that woman really did a number on her own daughter." I mentioned, talking to myself more than my friend. "Why have kids if you're gonna traumatize them like that?" I had the privilege of knowing, feeling, being immersed in the love of a mother, I could never understand how Tara's mom could say the things she says to her daughter.

"A mother isn't necessarily a mom." Corinne mused, and I knew she was also talking about her own case. "The point is, and I know it's going to be hard but it's extremely important ... you need to be patient with this girl. If you really love her, if you really want to be with her, you need to make peace with the fact that it's not going to be easy."

"I know that, I-"

"You don't, Luke." Corinne sighed, serious as ever. "You don't understand what it's like to feel worthless. I mean, I love you, babe, but have you seen yourself? Sure, sure, looks aren't everything, but they certainly help. A lot. Especially when you're charming and funny and everybody immediately likes you. Not all of us have that privilege."

"That's not true." I argued. "I liked you as soon as we started talking. You've always been a force to reckon with and I love that."

"That's very sweet, but what others see isn't what we see, babe." Corinne mentioned. "Try walking in your Tara's shoes for a moment. Her mom says she's not worth it, her bitch of a friend deceived her for years and ghosted her, the first guy she loved used her, belittled her, made her feel like dirt under his shoes. Then here comes this guy, a notorious player, flaunting an interest in mere sex." She paused, probably to let me process her words. "Do you see why she can't quite grasp your reasons for wanting to stick around after the deed?"