Where Does This Door Go?

Chapter 18

(Paige)

I sit beside Bella's cold, soulless body obviously crying.

I hold her hand tightly in both my hands and kiss her knuckles

Before I could say a few words... It was time to let go of Bella completely. The ambulance was here.

Luckily I had something prepared.

From out of my diary I placed a folded piece of paper in her palms and closed her hands.

"I hope you will find a way to read this somehow" I whisper in her ear "see you soon" I then smile

"Are you okay?" Gem asked me

"I'm fine" I say. Though she doesn't know what I'm thinking... She didn't say anything about attempting to die again all she said was not to cut.

I think about the deep thought a little longer 'it's just death...' I say to myself 'don't worry Bella is there' I convinced myself

Gem grasps onto my hand giving a sympathetic smile "I know it's hard but unfortunately it's time to let her go"

I nod giving a blank expression as we walk over to answer the door

"Hello we are here to pick up Bella?" They ask to clarify if we had her

Gem nods "follow me"

She leads the two men through while they roll through a stretcher that was topped with a black body bag.

Gemini taps my shoulder "do you want to stay in here while they put her in the ambulance?"

I shrug "I dont know"

The men flop Bella on top of the open bag and then untucked it from under her so it fits over her shoulders and body

They wheel her through the house out into the hall where the other members waited to put a flower inside with her

A rose from Naomi and Namjoon, an orchid from Taylor and Jimin, a petunia from Cate and Kookie, lilies from Mirain and Hobi, a gardenia from Jin and Kessho, bird of paradise from Kera and Tae and a bachelor button from Yoongi, Gem and I.

Altogether Bella had a bouquet of a variety of colours and love from each of us

"Would anyone like to do the honours" the man says

"No" I said

I watches as the men slowly zipped up the bag

Passed her legs and torso until her face and the beautiful bouquet disappeared

They wheeled her out the door and took her away

Before my tears surface any further I ran back to my room.

I shut my door and locked it.

I sat on my bed feeling like I was about to throw up.

I noticed a small stinging pain on my left arm... I roll up my sleeve to find i tight bandage around my forearm.

Slowly I unwrapped it. The tissue from earlier fell of revealing the swollen cuts.

I sigh. Thinking a lot more whilst looking at my arm..

Not gonna lie, the sight of the cuts made me feel happy. But I know that they wont last long...

My head starts to ache as I'm thinking harder and harder... I need to sleep it off. But I cant...

I take a deep breathe and exhale slowly as I get up to have a drink of water from the kitchen

As I walk I tell myself that because Bella died I cant end my life to make myself happy, only to put the others through more pain...
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(Anonymous)

I was sitting at my desk minding my own business until I noticed something appear in my closed hand... a letter?

I look around and it hadn't been any of my classmates as there was no sign of suspicion...

Looking confused I then opened the letter and read it slowly

"I hope that one day you would have found this note and read it in some way but I wanted to let you know that I am going to miss you so much. I can't bear the thought of standing by your coffin at your funeral, crying as well as the others. Without you I'm stuck here with 14 other people, sadly being the 15th meaning I'm the odd one out. But anyway on the bright side, i wanted to list some of our best "partner in crime" moments and our other great moments together... One, the time we mixed olive oil in Allie and Jadeahs foundation, Two, the time we took Allies photography photos for assessment and replaced them with her nudes, and Three, the greatest prank on Jadeah that we ever done was the time we each had scissors and we cut the straps of Jadeahs singlet and bra in fashion design. I want to make more memories with you but sadly I will have to make them on my own and tell you about them if we ever meet in hell... Well im assuming thats where you went you little goof. Hopefully I will see you soon.

Love, Paige"

I looked confused at what I had read... Why would Paige think I died? Surely she would have gotten mixed up with another Bella unless this was sent from another Paige? But thats just impossible...

I snap out of my little transe as the teacher had asked me a question
"Miss Bella, are you paying attention"

The other classmates look at me

"Yes, sorry sir. Please proceed"

"Im sorry miss but im afraid you will need to proceed in telling me why you were not paying attention in 'ancient history of Japan'"

"Well not going to lie to you sir but, I hate history and I was just distracted by a piece of paper from my book"

"Thats just pathetic. Get outside my classroom and I will come and get you when im ready to talk to you" he yelled

I scoff and grabbed my bag from the back of my chair and shoved my pencil case and book in there in frustration. "Your pathetic"

I storm out of the room and instead of making my way outside I walk over to the hall of lockers and I stop over at the yellow one again.

I approach it as I was about to put my hand on the locker door

"Wait!"

I look over at the end of the hallway and there runs Elizabeth

"Bella, we need to talk"