Blackbird // Mclennon

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

     It felt like ages, but I finally heard the tapping on the glass window, my father thankfully stopped banging on my door and let me be, as shocking as that sounds. I ran to the window and opened it, to be greeted with John's worried, yet loving face. He jumped into my room from the ledge and gave me a strong hug.

     "It's okay, now. I'm here for ye." He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on mine. "I'll always be here for ye, Paul."

     "I'm so sorry for making ye come ova' like this. It's pathetic, really. We were together all day today and it's not fair of me to-" I choked up.

     "No! Please, don't apologize." John pet my hair as he spoke. "Not now, not for this."

     "It's really not okay, John. He does this pretty much bi-weekly... maybe daily, now... I don't know what else to do."

     "I dunno if I can deal wi' it any longer..." I began to sob gently, causing John to do the same, but he held back a bit for my own sake.

     "Why on Earth do ye think he does this?" John asked me, sitting down on my bed.

     "It's..." I stayed silent for a few moments, trying to recollect my thoughts and emotions.

     "It's because of my Ma'... Mary... she passed away several months back. Ever since, my Da's been a violent alcoholic." I tried to repress anymore tears from pouring out, but failed miserably. "Real violent."

     "Paul..." John gave me an even tighter hug and then kissed me on the lips. "I can't imagine how tough that must be for ye... but I think we can relate in some ways..."

      I tilted my head, "How?"

     "My own Mother passed away... last year. Her name was Julia... and that's the reason why I live with me Aunt Mimi in the first place." He explained to me, staring at my ceiling. "Quite surreal, ain't it?"

     "I'm... I'm so sorry, John." I looked at his eyes, which were obviously watering a bit still. "Why does life have to hand us such a shit deck of cards... constantly?"

     "Well, uh, that's... the funny thing abou' life... A lot of things are jus... sorta outta our own control, we jus have to deal wi' it the best way we can, ye know? We have to hold on to the possibility of everythin' eventually gettin' better." John explained to me in a heartfelt way. "Hang on to the better things in life, keep our focus on that, instead."

     "Thank ye, John. I appreciate what yer sayin'... a lot... It's rather shockin' to hear ye be so sentimental. But it's jus so difficult dealing wi' my Father. He makes me extremely scared for not only me, but my brother, too." I laid on his shoulder.

      "And hey, if he gives yer little brother any problems, I've got no problem knocking the daylights outta him! You two don't deserve this... at all. I only wish ye'd let me scream at him 'till I'm blue in the face." John joked slightly, but i'm certain he was serious. "I've fought many men in my life, ...I'm certainly not afraid of him."

      I chuckled a bit, "Thank ye, Johnny. I won't forget that, either." I twiddled my thumbs for a bit, "So, did ye wanna go home, now?"

     "And leave ye here wi' that mad man? Hell no, Macca." John exclaimed, lighting a cigarette. "I'm stayin'."

     "But we've got school tomorrow, I don't wanna be the reason yer late." I tried to change his mind. I don't want to be a nuisance to him.

     "So? I'll jus leave early in the mornin'." He smiled down at my face. I sighed playfully and leaned closer into him.

     "And the next time he bothers ye, fight back. I'm serious. Ye don't need to take this shite and I know yer capable of being real strong. I've seen that inner strength before. There's a fire deep in yer heart, Macca, I know it." He looked down into my eyes. I wanted to believe him, but how can I? I tried not to think much of it anymore, I was too focused on John and only John.

     "Thank ye, Johnny boy. I, uh..."

"I love you." I sighed, he looked surprised. I honestly never meant to say that so early on, but it all slipped out.

     "I love you too, Macca." John kissed my forehead. I felt much more relaxed beneath his touch.

     The tension between our lips was very strong, almost as strong as it was in my dream I had that made me actually realize I was in love with John. I quickly leaned in and kissed him, but not a regular kiss, no. It was much more passionate.

     In society's eyes, what we are doing together is seen as so wrong, but it really just seems normal to me.
What's the big deal, here? No one has ever actually given me a clear explanation as to why it's considered 'wrong' in the first place. The very least I could get is an answer to that.

     He placed one hand under my chin to prop it up, his other hand traveled up and down my body as we fell deeper into the kiss.

      I ruffled and pulled at his hair and got on top of his warm body; Straddling him. Not once letting our lips detach from one another. I began fondling with John's belt as the tension began to heat up between us.

      He made an "o" shape with his lips on my neck and sucked deeply, leaving a large purple mark where his mouth was. The sensation felt so good, I'm not gonna lie, it turned me on immensely.

     "Ye git! Someone's gonna see that!" I said, with flushed cheeks.

     That's when we heard a knock at my bedroom door.