Ever since I was a little girl I have always been called little miss goody two shoes.
Some of my classmates (mostly girls) would pick on me back in grade school and of course being an observant person that I am, I knew what ticked them off every time I came to school. You know, some of these girls were my friends and we still talk (well, not always) today on Facebook. You know, the occasional "hi", "hello" and "how are you". Let's just say we've matured enough to forget our past.
But yeah, I knew very well what ticked them off. Because at first I didn't know why they were hating on me. This was happening ever since the first grade. I mean, I wasn't even pretty, I wasn't that smart, heck—I was only the quiet chubby little girl who always did what she was told.
1. I was on the honor roll.
2. The boys they liked always talked to me.
3. I know how to draw.
4. I was always nominated for class president.
5. I was always included in the top 3 spelling bee winners.
6. I wasn't pure filipina.
They called me names and made fun of me because of my weight as well. But like I said, I was quite the observant person even at such a young age. I don't think they picked on me because of my weight. Believe it or not, the popular boys in my class never picked on me even though I was such a chunky person. Therefore it was those 6 things that got them all riled up.
My parents never spoke of "bullying". Well, my mom did, but every time she brought it up, she would just tell me to mind my own business, do not get involve in any fights, do not spark a fight and if someone picks on me I'll just have to turn the other cheek and keep quiet.
One time, one of those girls sat beside me and asked if we could play a little game called "the pinching" game. I would lose if I end up crying. So she pinched me until I couldn't hold my tears any longer. I never told anyone back then. I think I brought it up at one point when my mom and I were having lunch together at a Filipino restaurant at National City. She was really upset when she found out and she asked me why I haven't said anything. Simple, I was just following what I've been told to do. I was like "Ella Enchanted", an obedient child. I followed every direct order even though I knew deep inside it'll hurt me in the end.
But the bullying stopped when I entered high school. Especially when I got accelerated to Junior, skipping a year level leaving my old batch mates as sophomores. The weight just peeled off naturally and I didn't even notice it until the school nurse told me I had lost 40 lbs when she took my weight. So every time I roamed the corridors, all the popular girls kinda just stayed out of my way. I can't say I was popular back then, but I was friends with almost every clique in my high school. Some of the private schools in my city even know me because they always see me and my friends walk around town after school in our uniforms.
Bullying today is a serious subject. When my son started in kindergarten I was always afraid what my son would turn out to be.
Was he going to be the bully or will he be the one who's going to be bullied?
We lectured him everyday and so far he's not in any of those two categories, thank God. As a mother, I frequently worry about my son. There's never a day I don't worry about him.That's completely natural. Parents have a big influence on how to mold their child as they grow up and I thank my mom for that. My niece and my nephew have their own share of bullying. They were bullied by their classmates but we all know why. It's because they're over achievers. Other kids hate them for that. My nephew plays almost every sport mainly being a quarterback in football. He's in the honor roll as well. His sister, my niece went through the same thing. She did every activity ever since she was a little girl. She won awards, she played tennis, swimming, pageants, cheerleading... she won awards left and right and a lot of girls hated her for that.
Anyways, back to being a goody two shoes. Like me for example, everyone thinks I was such a good girl back then, but in reality I used to sneak out at night with my BFF whenever my mom was out and I would beg my little brother not to tell. I usually come back before mid night. It happened a few times. My BFF would come and get me and we go meet up with our boyfriends at the city fair. I wasn't proud of it but looking back at the times, I guess I was just enjoying myself since I was young and I wanted some fun, some excitement.
Today, when I meet a really nice girl, I don't really believe they're THAT nice, you know what I'm saying?
Like me again, for example. I'm a Taurus. I'm friendly, cheerful, charming, faithful... But I can be a bitch sometimes. There's no such thing as being too nice, in my opinion. The very nicest girls would snap. Believe me; I've met a LOT of them.
I can be a bitch to a fellow bitch. It takes a lot for me to get angry. I trust people too much, but when a person breaks my trust, that's it. Yes, I can hold a grudge. I can forgive and forget but that's entirely not true. The problem with me is I keep all my problems bottled up and once my patience-o-meter breaks; you better stay out of my way.
Even at work, some people would try to bring me down because they think I don't fight back. But they're wrong. They always back off whenever I prove myself. Standing up for your self makes wonders. It won't permanently stop the bullying around the workplace but you certainly can stop them from stepping all over you.
People always see me as sweet and fragile but I'm really not. I do have a mean bone in my body and I am proud to admit it.
xoxo Katie
