Senseless

August 27, 1882 - Merritt

I let that sink in. I couldn't remember being rescued from the fire, only waking to see Leviathan crying over top of me. I knew that Adonai had done all of that. He had led Leviathan to find me, led Leviathan into the flames and then used me to get us both out. My heart swelled with a new emotion.

"And now you're human. Like me?" I whispered. "Adonai made you human."

He nodded.

I shook my head. "I don't believe it."

Michael grinned. "Why not?"

"Because I made a deal with Adonai. I told him I would trade my life in heaven so that I could save Leviathan from ending up in hell. I still owe Adonai my promise." I swallowed and closed my eyes. "I have to fulfill my end of the bargain. I haven't done what I said I'd do." I looked at Michael, prepared to see him nodding, prepared to hear his condemning message from heaven, but he only smiled at me.

Michael looked between the two of us. "Leviathan told Adonai that he would trade his life on earth so that he could save you. It seems as if you met each other in the middle. Now," he stood up and offered Leviathan his hand. The two men shook and Michael nodded to me. "You both have a lot to talk about, I'll be right outside if you need me." He kissed my forehead and gave my shoulder a squeeze before leaving us alone together.

The room fell silent.

I closed my eyes and inhaled a shaky breath. "This is all some dream. I am going to wake up and it will have all been a dream."

"I've spent the last week pinching myself." He took my hand in his. "I assure you, it is not a dream."

I looked at him. "Promise me? Promise me that I don't have to kill you."

His smile was wide and grateful. "I promise."

I am alive and Leviathan is human. I glanced sideways to find him watching me, his dark eyes searching my face. "Did—" he licked his lips and started again, "Did he hurt you, after I was shot? I worried... I thought..." His gaze darted to my clenched fists and he straightened. "Cassiel, please tell me you weren't—"

"Rosalie got there in time," I said. "I am untouched." I found it hard to say, hard to put a crisp label on something I felt was still tearing me apart inside.

Leviathan's eyes didn't waiver from my face as he said, "But you would tell me if something had happened, wouldn't you?"

I nodded.

He exhaled.

It was my turn to ask questions.

"Are you hurt? Everyone keeps telling me that you're healing and that you're fine," I glanced down at the thick white bandages wrapped around his torso.

He was shirtless, covered only by the sheet and the layers of cloth covering the bullet wound in his chest. It had been some time since I'd seen him like this, seen the strength of his arms, the muscular curve of his shoulders. Before, there would have also been wings, big black and grey wings. I wondered if his back would show the marks of their removal. The pillow covered the area and I was too afraid to ask.

He followed my gaze and if he knew I was thinking of his wings, he did not mention it.

"I'm on the mend. The first day or so was absolute hell," his face heated and he gave me an apologetic look as if he was only remembering that I was a lady. "It is a miracle that I am here. Sariel has worked tirelessly to keep me as comfortable as possible. But I was still shot. There will be scarring, in many different ways, I think. But that is something to think on later. I've slept a lot, this is my first day really feeling well enough to see you. Although, Gabriel has been keeping me updated." His lips pulled up into a soft smile. "I'm so happy you're alright."

"This changes so much." I brought my knees up to my chest and leaned into him. "I—We can have a life. We could—" I hesitated.

His fingers intertwined with my own and he said, "We could what?"

I shook my head. "We can talk later. You just became human, everything is new and I don't want to overwhelm you with my girlish nonsense. It's for another time."

Leviathan tightened his hold on my hand and lowered his voice to a whispered. "But I want to know now."

I turned so that I was facing him fully. "Well, the whole world has just opened up. All the things I always thought I couldn't do, couldn't have—"

"Like?" His smile was contagious.

"We could travel the entire world. Tour art museums and attend fancy dinners." I felt my face heat as I added, "We could court, maybe even get married."

"All of this," he said, "and I only get a 'maybe'?"

"Well, we should do things traditionally. The human way."

"But I've loved you for eons."

"You've loved Cassiel for eons."

"And you're Merritt." He said quietly.

I nodded. "I'm Merritt."

"Very well, Miss Holbrook, if you wish to be courted, courted you shall be."

I shivered at the words. "I love the sound of that."

"And after we've courted and, maybe, married?"

"You must have things you've always wanted to do but couldn't," I said. "What do you think we should do?"

"I've always liked the idea of living out away from it all, having my own land with my own family and my own, well, everything. The city...it is exhausting."

"Then we will find somewhere far from the city."

"After we've toured the world of course." He said.

I couldn't help but smile as the tentative warmth of hope welled within me. 

"Yes," I whispered, "only after we've toured the world."