HATELOVE

9

I was asked the same questions over and over. Most interviewers wanted to know how we met. I told them that one of my friends was dating her roommate and that they'd introduced us. It was true, though very abridged. I was sometimes asked how serious we were. I resented that question because it wasn't easy to answer. I didn't want to say we were talking marriage, because that's all it was at that point. Just talk. Out of respect to the Petrellis, I didn't mention that we lived together. I did say that she was staying in Toronto after graduation. And I said I loved her. Every time I said that publicly, I got a warm fuzzy feeling.

I had a photo shoot that afternoon with Rolling Stone magazine, who I'd had a long interview with earlier. It was a very lighthearted atmosphere and I had tons of fun with it. Sadie was cracking up at some of the poses and expressions I made, which made me laugh. The photographer loved that and encouraged her to get me laughing more. She begged Sadie to join me in a couple photos.

"I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt and my hair and make-up are nothing!" she argued.

"What if the photos aren't published, but are just for you two? How often do you get photographed by a professional together?" the photographer, Nessa, asked.

"Come on, baby," I insisted, "take some pictures with me."

She reluctantly joined me. I was sitting on a high stool. I lifted her up on my lap, which was a somewhat precarious position since the stool wasn't all that steady.

"If we fall backwards, it's your fault," she warned.

Nessa took several pics of us like that. I did start to lean back at one point, causing Sadie to jump off my lap.

We took a few more standing, and then a bunch of us sitting on the floor with her positioned between my bent legs. We didn't look at the camera and instead focused on one another.

I leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I then whispered in her ear. "I love you, sexy Sadie."

When we finished, I thanked Nessa and asked if she could send me the photos when she got the chance. She promised she would.

After changing back into my non-modeling outfit, we left to go back to the hotel. My manager, Andrew, had invited us out to dinner with some executives from my label. I really wanted to take Sadie someplace alone, but I couldn't get out of a work obligation like this. At least they agreed to go out in Brooklyn so that it was convenient to where we were staying.

I put on brown slacks and a light blue short-sleeved button down shirt. Sadie changed into a form fitting red dress.

"Can you zip me up?" she asked, turning around and lifting her hair out of the way.

I pulled the zipper up and then peppered her neck with kisses. She turned around and smiled up at me. I leaned down and kissed.

"Fuck Sadie. Do you have to look so good? Now I don't want to go out," I told her.

"Want me to change into something less appealing?" she joked.

"No. But let's go before I make us late."

Along with my bodyguard, we got in the car that was waiting for us and traveled the short distance to the Italian restaurant we'd agreed upon.

Dinner was excellent, though most of the discussion centered around my career. My single was going to start getting extra hype in the upcoming week with lots of billboards and other other visuals to create buzz. Rolling Stone would release the story they were doing on me soon after.

On the car ride home, I checked my email. Nessa sent me dozens of photos of me and Sadie. They were amazing.

"Honey, look at these," I said, handing Sadie phone.

She looked at each one.

"I like this one," she said of the one where we were on the floor and I was giving her a kiss.

"That's my favorite, too. I think we should let them use it in the article."

"Shawn! No! I look so plain and blah and you're perfection, as usual, and all dressed up."

"Is that what you see? Because I see two people who are obviously in love. I look like a guy who is dressed up as someone he's not, where you're this totally natural beauty. I like the juxtaposition."

"You want that photo in the magazine?" she asked.

"Yeah. I do. I've been talking about you so much in these interviews, it just seems fitting."

She sighed. "Okay. Go ahead."

I replied to Nessa and told her my decision. She immediately got back to me and said that was awesome.