Project: Socialize (Chapters 1-197)

154. In the Car

"Father," Irina said to her father as the car pulled back into a center lane on the road. "This is Alevian."

"I remember him," Irina's father chuckled. "He's the guy that licked your face and said all that perverted stuff."

"F-father!" Irina blushed as she was reminded of what had occurred a couple months ago when I had fulfilled her wish in repairing her relationship with her father. "Alevian didn't mean any of that!"

"I know, I know," the man laughed in a pleasant manner. "Thank you, Alevian. If not for you, who knows how far on that awful path I would continue to stray."

"It's nothing," I responded. "I did it for myself anyways, so there's really no need to thank me."

"You're so humble," the old man smiled. "What would help repairing our relationship benefit you in any manner? I bet it is simply that you feel the need to help out."

"You can think that if you would like," I politely smiled in response. This smile of mine wasn't one of genuine joy, but rather a mask that I put on in these social situations where I am forced to actually interact with people. Luckily, the lights were dim inside the vehicle so they weren't able to see through it.

"If you don't mind, Alevian," Irina said as she looked over at me. "Before we go eat, I need to stop by the film crew and talk with the director real quick. Would that be fine with you?"

"That's fine," I responded as I wasn't actually hungry to the point that I immediately need food.

"Thank you." She clasped her hands together in gratitude.

"So what show are you filming?" I then asked.

"It's a Christmas Special," she responded. "For the variety show Go Running."

"Isn't that the hottest show right now?" I exclaimed in surprise.

"Y-yeah..." Irina blushed slightly and looked down at her lap to avoid eye contact out of embarrassment. 

I think she was only like that because I am someone in our group that she is talking to about her career, but I am confident that once the filming begins and the camera starts rolling she will be that celebrity that everybody in Vilheim loves and adores.  

I simply gazed out the tinted window and at the beautiful street view of Lumina as we drove towards our destination. Where exactly it was though, I do not know. However, based off of the metal signs on the main road, I assume that we were headed towards Palim as that was the main entertainment district of Palisia as it houses the headquarters of the broadcasting channels in Palisia. In addition to all that, the small island of Palim that's just off the shore of Lumina is also a quite popular tourist attraction as it is surrounded by water and is known for its seaside amusement park as well as seaside dining spots.

Another reason why I chose to stare out the window of the vehicle is to avoid awkwardness. The only person that I am familiar with among everyone in the car is Irina, and even then, I do not know if there's anything much that we can talk about. I'm not the best at initiating conversations so if I were to converse, then that would usually mean someone else has initiated the conversation.

"So..." Irina started speaking in a cautious manner almost as if she was intending to test out the waters a bit. "How's your winter break been?"

"It's been alright," I responded, turning my head in her direction to look at her. I saw that she was still quite nervous to the point that she was blushing. Her hands were down on her lap as her arms and shoulders remained tense. "I see that you've been quite busy. I've been seeing you on television recently."

"Yeah," Irina answered. "There's that one hair product commercial as well as a car commercial out there right now... So um... Luna and Loyd started dating."

"Yeah..."

"When do you think they started having a thing for each other?" she asked.

"..." 

This question inspired me to consider carefully when it exactly was that there were signs of possible admiration between the two. To be honest, in all the time that we were together, not once did I really saw any hints or signs that Loyd and Luna might have feelings for each other. Besides, Luna had even told me herself that her heart was still with her ex-boyfriend. And combine that with what I had heard when I saw her with those college-aged people... This is really extremely confusing. I just don't see any real connection in any of these events. Maybe one can argue that there were possible signs at the air hockey table when she was paired up with Loyd against Irina and I, but there really wasn't enough evidence to truly for one to come to the conclusion that Loyd has feelings for Luna or Luna has feelings for Loyd. So that leads back to the question, why did they even started dating? Even though I was unable to see a connection or any real motive, I have a feeling that this relationship that the two were having wasn't as simply as it seems. I don't know. Maybe I'm the one that's overthinking it all. What if Luna simply wants to be able to be in a relationship and indulge in humanity's primitive lust for physical pleasure before she dies? There's that possibility as well.

"I don't really know," I sighed and responded to Irina's question.

"You too?" Irina appeared quite surprised. "I thought you of all people must've been able to pick out something since you're so observant."

"What am I in your perspective?" I looked over at her in a somewhat troubled manner. "I'm simply human, you know? I'm not like some divine being, like an angel, that can catch up on everything."

"It's just that..." Irina blushed and looked back down at her lap. "It's just that you noticed when I was having problems before."

"That?" I nodded as I recalled what she was referencing. "That's a special case..."

"Not only that time though," Irina interjected. "You also helped me out when we were preparing for the school festival when we lost those reports!"

"..."

"I think you're someone who's extremely special," Irina continued although her face was quite red from embarrassment. "Someone who's extremely heroic, affable, and kind."

"Affable?" I chuckled. "Me?"

"Y-yeah," Irina nodded. "I feel like I can always talk with you if I have a problem."

This is it. This is the prime evidence of her admiration for me. I know that Irina has special feelings for me already, but I'm pretty confident that this feeling isn't simply a romantic one. Rather, it was simply one of gratitude. I've helped her before, so she simply beautified most of my characteristics out of admiration. Her desire to rely on me was the prime evidence of the fact that in her eyes, I am heroic... I cannot take advantage of this admiration she holds for me as Irina is someone that I respect as she was initially so similar to me yet she was able to leave behind this abyss and return to the loving world. For her, this world will ultimately be kind and inviting. But for me, there's nothing but darkness and cruelty there.

Author's Note:

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