Moving In

Old friends

"It's nothing baby," I mumble kissing her forehead, "I'll talk to you about it one day," and I knew I would.

She grins at me, "I know. You got all my secrets, Axel, it's only fair I find yours out."

I can't resist the smile any longer as I wordlessly run my fingers gently through her hair once more and it takes only minutes for her to fall back asleep.

Sometimes I feel as if I have aged faster than my peers. There is only so much to me and my family than high schoolers can under stand. So much more depth and these people swim in shallow waters.

But she, like me, knew what real world struggles meant. Not that mom and dad were mad at us, but how we were going to pay the bills this week or where is the next place to live.

Therefore this thing, whatever it is between us, feels heavier than kids our age could comprehend. This feeling is as mature as we are. It's intensity speaks volumes and when I hold her, my mind wonders to things I know I am too young for, but with her... god I want them so bad with her

But my mind flashes to Eric.
He stopped me the morning she was gone. I was racing around calling Hazel when he grabbed onto me before I could leave.

His eyes hold a hard gaze, almost a glare as he eases his words out, giving not hint to his emotions.

"She won't be able to love you," he tells me watching, gaging my reacting.

"What?" I snap ripping my arm out of his grip. My fist was itching to smack against his jaw repeatedly.

"She can't give you what you want from her," he explains the only hint I get towards his intentions where the heavy weight of his words.

He wanted to hurt me? Scare me away?

"Who says I want anything from her," I retort guarding myself, but he gives me a look that makes it clear I'm not fooling anyone.

"She's just... she's just not capable of letting go and falling into love. Even before it all started, she was just so scared and controlling," he says and for the first time I hear frustration in his voice.

"What would you know?" I snap feeling the green monster coming of in my voice.

"Just wanted to warn you. She'll do a number on you," he says cautiously, as if he knew it wasn't time to deal with my rage.

I didn't give him another second of my time before I races to her. I needed to stop her. To keep her. Even beg her if I had to, but I still couldn't begin to explain why at the time.

Not until I saw the packed apartment did I understand the sweaty-quaking feeling that crawled up my spine. Fear.

I was so scared to lose the women I knew Ioved. Damn I only gave her a glimpse at how hard I was falling because I knew that night I fell. Without a doubt. Her here and being so vulnerable with the people I consider family, being so honest. It's like watching Pandora's box open- and just at the end when everyone starts to give up- Hope crawls out and promises moments and chances.

I saw the demons, the dark and scary, but at that moment I saw that light in her eyes as she teased me. My world shifted.

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