"Luis!" I exclaim.
"Did you get my messages? I tried to call you back but you didn't answer," he replies.
Of course, I didn't answer I was enraptured in the bedsheets with Jaime. I quickly step outside, closing the door behind me and then wonder why I am feeling so guilty considering Luis and me only ever fake dated. It wasn't real, was it? It was only ever a charade.
Well, it was never meant to be real!
"Are you alright?" he asks as he glances at the closed door and then back at me.
"I'm fine," I tell him.
"You're fine?" he asks. His tone is riddled with doubt.
Who am I fooling? He can see right through my act, he's too damn smart!
Before I can even begin to explain to him the latest mess that I have gotten myself into, the door to my motel room opens and I can feel my whole body going numb.
I bite down on my bottom lip in nervousness as Luis stands face to face with Jaime, who is draped in only a white towel, covering his lower region.
"Jaime, right?" Luis scoffs as he looks from me to the rockstar.
"Is everything okay out here?" Jaime asks, using that tone that one would expect of a police officer.
Here I am feeling like I have done the worst possible thing that I could ever do. Once again I find myself stuck in a big fat mess. Luis knows exactly what has happened between Jaime and I and judging by the look on his face, he is quite literally heartbroken. Seeing him that way breaks my own heart.
"I don't even know why I bothered coming here!" Luis scoffs as he storms toward the parking lot.
Do you know how in the movies where you get that moment where the character realizes that they have not only made one hell of a mistake, but they have actually fallen in love? Well, this here... That was my moment!
It is normally within that moment that the fight or flight instinct cuts in and does the work for them. Where the heart takes a shot of adrenaline and does the thinking instead of the brain.
Where the protagonist makes some grand romantic gesture. But this is the reality, right? And I don't actually have a boom box. I only have a phone with music and no time to get it.
I am faced with a decision. I could either stay with Jaime at the motel, close the door and never think about Luis again. It would be easier.
But, I can't. There is just something in me that will not let Luis leave without a fight. I run out into the parking lot calling after him.
"Luis, wait!"
That line is so damn corny, it's beginning to grow a husk! It's so damn cliché! But now I finally get it! I finally understand!
Luis stops at his car and turns to face me. "What? What do you want? Why don't you just go back to the police officer? We don't owe each other anything."
"Why did you come here?" I ask him.
Seriously? Why would I ask that? God, I frustrate myself, sometimes! But, my question has clearly caught him off guard.
"I came because..." he stammers. He pushes his hands through his hair, adjusting his ponytail. "I don't know. Because I was speaking with your father and he wanted us to come for a visit... I don't know..."
For the first time, I am seeing Luis as a bumbling mess. He actually looks like his whole world is derailed. He rubs at his face in frustration and turns back to his car door.
"No, Luis," I say. "This isn't about the fake dating thing... This isn't about my parents! This is about us." He turns back to face me and I actually see the subtle hint of a tear in his eye.
"Us? There is no 'us'," he tells me. "I thought that... I don't know... that for just once you might have felt something for me. That you might have... Look, I signed up for this elaborate scheme of Adam's because I thought that I could win you over. Sure, it was all pretending... It was fun... But then it became something more... I guess that I came here because... I don't know, I'd hoped that you might have felt the same way! But clearly, it was all just make-believe!"
He stops speaking and there are tears in his eyes. In fact, there are tears running down my face too.
"It was real to me too," I manage to say. "I only just took off the ring tonight because... because I'm screwed up! There is nothing between Jaime and me! It was just... It was just sex! I screwed up!"
"You got that right! You did screw up, Nicky! You talk all this game about not wanting a hero, yet when you finally meet someone who could possibly be your perfect match, someone, to stand by you through everything, you screw the guy who is quite actually a hero! So much for not being a damsel in distress! You're the perfect example of one!"
Ouch! His words hurt. But they are true!
"Luis, don't leave," I sob as he gets into his car. "Please don't leave."
My mind instantly travels back to the moment where Luis told my parents that he believed our relationship was about equality. It was never about him feeling that I didn't have things handled, it was about him standing by my side to help me pick up the pieces when they did fall.
Not going out and fixing everything without giving me a say in that matter. If I wanted things fixed, I could do it myself and I would have had his back.
But then Adam was right, I was codependent. And while it isn't a shame to rely on people... the one person I wanted... the one man who could quite literally be my perfect partner, someone that I could actually rely on, I had just driven away... Literally! His brake lights were disappearing down the street in the early hours of the morning.
Self-saboteur, thy name is Nicole Andrews!
So, there you have it. While my instincts immediately went into the fight process... Luis fled in the car in the early hours of the morning... It would have been much more fitting if he were boarding a flight!
Chapter Fifteen: Fight and Flight
Start from the beginning
