As you may have read, this chapter has the same name as the title of the story and there is a reason that I did that. You see up until now, the past four chapters have been the 'getting-to-know-you' part of the story.
I needed you to get a feel for the other characters as well as get a glimpse of just how much of a mess my life is currently in. I needed you to see that side of me because all of that is important for what is to come!
So, let's sum up. In one day, I went white-girl-crazy on a one-night-stand whose only crime was giving me great sex! He turned out to be a pretty good guy and a police officer who only moonlights as a Rockstar.
Don't judge a book by its cover, ladies!
Then my car was towed away and I was late for work. I was sexually harassed by my boss and either I was fired or I quit in style, I'm going with the latter... it sounds much better!
But still, I am currently in the predicament where I have no money. Which means, that very soon I will have no apartment, no food, and no lifestyle unless I suck up to my parents... Which I will never, ever, ever do! They would have to kill me first!
Am I forgetting anything? Oh, yes! The most embarrassing moment that I have ever committed while being sober... I vomited on a jerk who cut in front of me in a line at a New York Coffee shop.
I know! That is a big crime in itself! They should have line police to monitor these kinds of situations. Two hundred dollar fines for cutsies.
Anyway, that brings us to now, where said jerk aka Hipster Blues Brother is supposed to be playing my fake boyfriend at my parent's anniversary dinner tonight in Los Angeles. After that, according to Adam's plan, said fake boyfriend will be called away on some business trip while I will spend the remainder of the week at my parents.
Hipster Blues Brother and I are sitting on the plane, bound for LAX. He has not spoken a word to me since he sat down, and as quiet as he may be... he couldn't be all the more annoying.
I swear, if this guy breathes any louder, I will stab him with my pen!
So, why do I need a fake boyfriend to escort me to my parent's anniversary dinner? Are you forgetting that I am thirty, living in New York, I am single and I am a strong and independent woman? Oh, not to mention that Adam chickened out on me.
Those reasons should be reason enough... Or maybe I should add in that my parents are crazy! They expect me to be married... or at least engaged to be married.
This encounter with the said boyfriend should distinguish all talk on my parents' part making me feel like my life is down the drain... which technically, it kinda is, at the moment. But, they can't know that!
I would love to know just how much money Adam is paying this guy. He should be paying me! I am the one who has to go through with this crazy shit.
Damn... what's his name? Was it Luke? No, that doesn't sound right. Oh crap, he's looking at me. Luis, that's it!
Well, Luis and I are at the official beginning of this story. You've had your basics covered. You know how crazy and neurotic I can be. I have given you as much preparation as I can.
So, buckle up and get ready, because this is your guide to fake dating a guy who is actually gay but is pretending to be straight so your parents get off your case about being single.
Long name... That's why I had to cut it down on the cover... It was way too long and wouldn't fit... That's what she said!
Sorry, bad joke! I'm nervous! Can you tell? Well, on with the story!
