optional // l.s.

twenty two (*)

one of these upcoming chapters will be a bit triggering. probably the next one or the one after that.

trigger warning: mentions of rape

---

today was dark.

not only inside, but in louis' mind. he had an anxiety attack, he threw things at harry (without thinking, the man expected a collapse from the boy soon, he was prepared for it) and locked himself in harry's room.

he was sluggish today. he refused to get out of bed and all he wanted to do was sleep. so after a proposed deal, louis ate some breakfast and went back to sleep until harry officially got him up for lunch. weekends were usually chill at harry's, and louis loved it. but today he was cranky and he just wanted to hide away from humanity.

louis felt like shit because he just jerked harry into a whirlpool of things but when there came a soft knock on the door and then a gentle pick of the lock, harry was standing there with a cup of fresh tea and louis' favorite blanket.

"baby," the man said softly.

"i'm sorry," louis' voice cracked and he put his head in his hands.

harry laid the cup down and crawled on the bed, stroking louis' hair. "it's okay, honey. i brought you a cuppa and your blanket.."

louis sniffled and lifted his head, looking at his boyfriend with teary eyes. "thank you," he whispered.

harry pressed a tender kiss to louis' forehead and left his lips lingering. he then pressed their foreheads together and pulled louis into his chest, securing his arms around him.

"atleast you didn't throw knives or anything. just my shoes and pillows."

louis chuckled wetly and patted harry's thigh. "atleast i was courteous."

harry kissed his temple and rubbed his back soothingly. "lie down and we can cuddle. you up for some shameless tonight?"

"always," the blue eyed boy grinned and wiped his eyes, patting his face until it was dry. harry covered him up with his blanket and kicked back beside him, turning netflix on and louis sighed softly once the intro began to play.

harry laid his head in his lap, looking up at him and admiring his beauty. louis tilted his head down and kissed the man, raising his hand up and karate chopped him in the neck. it wasn't too hard where it would hurt him, but it definitely was a surprise.

"fucker," harry groaned and louis giggled against his lips, kissing him again before returning to watch their show.

---

"okay, so," liam pursed his lips. "they decided to do an actual court case, and it's on the thirteenth."

"oh," louis whispered.

"do you want to go? i mean, actually, you need to go but do you want me or zayn to go with you? for like emotional support and stuff?"

louis glanced down at his phone and shrugged. "i dunno if i could look at him again, li."

"it'll be okay," liam inched closer to him and laid his head on his shoulder. "he won't touch you, nobody will. it's just for the disposition and stuff, where you would be the witness to testify, you could get him locked up longer."

"why did they wait so long?"

liam sighed softly. "because the court system is a fluke, everything takes forever."

the blue eyed boy nodded and fiddled with his shirt sleeves. "i-i guess i'll go but what if it doesn't go right? what if they set him free?"

"we got copies of your medical records lou, he can't just go free. and you have three witnesses, plus your therapist," his friend assured.

louis chewed on his lip and nodded. "o-okay. fuck.."

"i know," liam soothed, rubbing his back. "it'll be okay, bubba."

louis nodded again and snuggled into his friend's side. "thank you, li."

"always."

---

louis hated muggy weather.

when the winter changes into spring he never failed to get sick. the change of the weather made him stopped up and icky, and he felt like shit. and it was horrible outside, he felt like he needed a hoodie but the air was just so neutral that it was gross.

"are you going to harry's today?" liam poked his head in louis' room.

the boy shook his head and rubbed his nose. "'m sick, don't wanna get him sick."

"you are not sick, because that would mean i'm sick too. so get your ass up and get dressed because i don't wanna leave you home alone, i would feel bad."

louis groaned and stretched. "but why?"

"because we are lonely boys who miss their boyfriends, damn it!"

louis shrugged at that and got up, grabbing his (harry's) black sweatpants. liam waited for him to change and once he was ready to go, louis quickly got in the civic and buckled up. fuck mother nature.

for the sake of not showing the whole world where his boyfriend lives, louis had liam drop him off a few houses down as usual. and when liam gets far enough away to not see him, he sneaks through the back yards and makes it to harry's front door. he gives the door a few gentle knocks and is greeted by the man he was expecting, shirtless and hair still wet.

"hello, gorgeous," harry smiled and pulled him in, leaning down to kiss him softly. "surprise appearance?"

"yeah, liam forced me outta the house," louis chuckled and laid his cold hands on harry's waist. harry kissed his head and wrapped his arms around him in hopes to warm him up.

louis sat at the kitchen table while harry made them some tea and a snack. while waiting for the kettle to go off, louis just snuggled into harry's chest and refused to let go. he told him about the court date coming up and about how he had to go.

he was scared, nonetheless. he had to face the man that assaulted him, he had to see the look on his face when louis would end up flipping his shit in the courtroom and he wasn't ready.

he didn't understand why he himself had to prove a man raped him when he had medical documentation for it. why did he have to do this? but then again he knew he had to because he needed to be one of those people who stood up and spoke out.

he needed them to know that men can be raped and that it happens. it's not a fluke. he needs the court system (and society) to understand that violent acts can happen to anyone and if he had to advocate for that, then so be it.

"you got this," harry reassured, placing his forehead on louis'. "you're brave, little flower. you can do it."

"you think so?" louis whispered shakily.

"i know so," harry murmured and kissed his nose as the kettle whistled. "go pick a movie while i get the tea."

---

sorry it's short but heres a little filler. i haven't updated in a while and i apologize for that.

like i said earlier, the next chapter(s) will be rough. they will have mentions of rape and the process louis goes through. bear with me please.

thank you for almost 5k! (: