cold hands. ➳ yoonmin

moments.

»a/n:  this is the ending! as requested, there will be an epilogue so stay tuned! i'm not sure if i should write an alternate ending...? 

                                                                                                 ♥

it was a rainy day that day, the weather i loved. some see rain as a bearer of bad news, some see the gloomy cloud skies as god's gift to grow the land, leave a trail of liquid beads on the pea-green grass adorned with dry leaves crackling under the wind's palm. the soil that looked baked during the howling icy breath of anemoi, is now soft, as if the two gods were battling over the seasons. zeus, the god controlling over the domain of rain, was trying to fight anemoi's wind, every step of zeus's causing a temporary puddle soaking the little weeds. the tarnished green fall leaves floated like a boat above the tiny patches of rain. to me, the rain was comfort, it was quiet, it was like a blanket. yet today, it wasn't the same. i had gotten to known you a little, as not just some note-writing buddy, but also as a genuine friend. over the weeks, the crispy fall air slowly faded away, trailing behind it dreaded leaves of orange, red, and brown. it wasn't long before a carpet of snow began to form on the sidewalks.

 it began tradition to bring a cup of hot cocoa to you everyday, today, it had extra whip cream with chocolate dust sprinkled above it, with a little note attached. it was today, christmas, i had decided to actually go to a party. it was rare, of course, however, jin had convinced me that it'd be much better than slugging around hoseok's apartment. after chatting with you for a while, i got ready to leave, it was when you grabbed my hand tightly, i knew i had to stay a little more. giving a weakened smile that loss it's usual glow, with a darkened expression, you spoke. "take this and invite everyone on this list to the christmas party." your shaking hands took out a crumbled up slip of loose leaf paper. "why?" i asked. speaking with caution, you replied with glassy orbs. "hey yoongi, i appreciate everything you've given me. the kindness, the notes, everything. just, just... do this for me. play the tape when you get there." if i had known, i should've never left you with a simple "goodbye jimin." at the party, i gathered the people as requested. dusting off the player, i shoved in the tape. it took a while before an image appeared. it was you. yet you looked much healthier and then it hit me. "ah, this must've been jimin before..." it was just like the day i first met you. soft hair, silky with a glow. eyes that were dark yet with a sparkle. 

"hello everyone! jimin here! haha, this is so awkward, but um, as you may know already, and if you didn't, i was diagnosed december 28, 2017. i've met so many different 'friends' throughout my life. thought i'd end up closer with some of them, but he wasn't who i thought he'd be, wrote some heartfelt letters to childhood friends, now i read them and laugh, even mom almost got re-married and for her, I'm so thankful. wish I could say, "thank you" to yoongi especially. cause he was an angel. my current friends taught me love. my childhood friends taught me patience. and yoongi taught me pain, he has helped me in the toughest times. now, i'm so amazing. yoongi, you will always be my best friend-"

before you could speak again, you began coughing roughly. the tape ended. it stopped there. everyone was shocked, what could this tape mean? then your mother had grabbed my hand scarily, speaking quick. "get jimin. get jimin! GO GET JIMIN NOW! the same phase, replayed over and over in my head, it had told me something was definitely off with that tape. i ran out of hoseok's apartment where the party resided. i opened the car door frantically, quickly starting up the engine. i ran to your room as quick as my legs could carry. i then saw a bunch of doctors exiting your room. "w-what are you-you all do-doing!?" the white coated men, sensing the urgency in my tone, exchanged themselves a look, before replying. "we are sorry to inform you, the patient in this room has passed." i then saw you, your eyes closed peacefully. i felt guilty. i felt as if it was because i didn't take care of you. i broke down and cried that day, it was the first time i had ever cried about someone else. my solid walls broke down and my caged heart set it's emotions free.

 i'm afraid this may be my last diary entry. why you may ask? i am now writing this dairy entry at age 78. i named this diary after you, jimin. and if there's something i regret the most, it'd be how i didn't cherish those moments with you more, you never know how much you've loss until you actually loose it. 

»a/n: yes, the tape was inspired by ariana grande's 'thank you, next.' this book has been such a fun work to write, yet a sad one. it was my first take at a sad work and i'd want to thank you all for supporting it?? like i never expected to even get 100 reads! thank you all sm :(