cold hands. ➳ yoonmin

treatments.

                                                                                                 ♥

i've been studying at the hospital, it's been so stressful, yet you helped me get through it. it didn't take long before the café visits became a regular routine. taking a sticker shaped like a leaf, i began leaving little notes, describing my mood every morning. on some days, a simple coffee was perfect for waking me up from the rainy weather. the rain that was quiet and engulfed me, driving my mind to bed. while on some days, i felt upbeat, radiating energy around me. no matter the occasion, i would nearly always fill the wall with my thoughts. you'd often  write down little replies on my notes when i returned the next day. little did you know, i took the little replies down from the wall and read them whenever i felt sad. one day, you suddenly left and never returned, if i said it didn't bother me my little note-writing friend was gone, it'd be a lie. later that day, my colleague had let me know of a patient getting diagnosed with a chronic disease and how it broke his heart to know that it was incurable. he had asked me to be on board with his team to help research a way in order for you to live longer. another patient was in need of me, i had left that day with the simple reply of "sorry, man. maybe after i'm done with my patients." after a week or so, my colleague whom i now know was 'jin' came to me asking with the same question. however, this time he had told me this patient specifically was looking for me. with a puzzled face, taking a glance at my schedule, and proceeded to agree to be on his team. jin had many connections and friends, me, on the other hand, simply wanted peace and quiet. i had often skipped out on some meetings to work on other studies, desperately clinging onto my patient reviews, achieving 4-5 stars on curing them. to me, jin's patient was little to nothing to me at that time. looking back, i should've helped earlier, i should've been there, if i were, maybe you could've survived, my dear, note-writing friend.