bet on it - odell beckham jr.

chapter thirty-three

"if you choose to stay, i will be reassigning your title and role. i will pull you off direct contact with the team and place you in more of a marketing position. i'll give you the rest of the day to decide." his eyes drift over to odell. "if ira-reice decides to stay, you need to keep your distance. no more contact from you of any sorts."

odells' mouth opens, but for the first time, his agent reaches over and touches his arm before shaking his head.

"ira-reice, you are dismissed." i scoot my chair back and make a beeline for the door.

☯︎

"do you think that we should order more of the group t-shirts, or should we stock up more on the individual ones?"

i'm staring out of my office window—my new office window that is—on the complete opposite side of the stadium. i hear iris nagging at me, but i don't process anything she's asking.

"ira!"she snaps her fingers in my face, causing me to blink before refocusing my attention on her.

"what? oh, t-shirts. right. sorry." i shove back in my chair and stand, picking up the t-shirts and fingering them in my hands. "what numbers are selling out the fastest? we seem to have more inventory of the group t-shirts. so, maybe we should just restock the individuals."

iris grimaces, before shoving the numbers sheet across the table to me. "have a look." i don't even have to look at the sheet to know that anything with odells' name and number on it sells the most. next in line is eli manning, sterling shepard, saquon barkley and then landon collins.

"i guess we should just reorder their stuff. being a home season this week, it's probably best to stock up on the favourites."

"okay, but i do think we should be careful on ordering beckhams' stuff though. word on the street is that he's already been talking to washington about a contract for next season. if that gets leaked into the press, our sales will drop massively."

i simply nod, hating the way his name grates against me. it's been three weeks. three, long, horrible weeks of crying myself to sleep, stuffing my face with ice cream and letting the sadness that i feel damn near overtake me. odell has abided by mr. ellis' order to steer clear of me, and he's done it oh so well.

since the day of our meeting, odell hasn't tried to contact me. nor has he tried to glance in my direction on the few occasions i've seen him. luckily, the team had three away seasons in a row, so they've been gone often, which makes this whole thing a lot easier.

the very week after i was reassigned, a new team mom was hired. iris did her official warning to her, as she did to me, but i didn't say anything to her. she can find out the experience herself.

no way can i admit my humiliation to a stranger, which may be shitty of me, but i didn't care. i'm tryna keep myself together, without yet having another mental breakdown. and i've done a decent job of it, except for the times where i'm alone.

the grief usually hits at night, when i've finally laid down in bed and my mind wanders. for the very first time ever, i felt what it was like to be in love. and while for him, i was nothing more than a game. but he was everything i wanted.

we spend the rest of our morning figuring out what merchandise to order, also doing a bit of marketing before a knock on the door stops us.

"can i help you?" i hear iris question.

a brunette peeks her head into the door, flashing us both a brilliant smile. recognition sets in, as my stomach drops to the floor.

"i hope so, i'm not sure if i'm in the right place."

iris raises an eyebrow, motioning for her to come in. "who are you looking for?"

"whoever's in charge of the clothing line, i need to pick up a couple of shirts that were ordered for me?"

"that would be her." iris points to me. "but she's working on something, i can help you."

"great. i'm supposed to be picking up a few jerseys. my boyfriend is insisting i wear his number if i'm gonna be at his games." her eyes wander to me. "hey, i know you." she points a manicured finger my way, before snapping her fingers. "we met in washington, right?"

"right." i force the word out.

"who's your boyfriend?" iris questions, even though there's no need.

she flashes me another smile, showing off a set of perfect white teeth that hid underneath her plush lips. "odell beckham jr?"

iris' jaw drops, but not mine. i'm currently running on autopilot, just as i have been for weeks. instead of acting surprised, i nod, walking numbly to our closet that houses special orders.

"deja, isn't it?"

"yeah." she struts into the room, following me. "i hope you still have them. he ordered them for me a few weeks ago, but i've been a little bit busy so i haven't gotten around to picking them up."

a few weeks ago, which puts it at right about the same time he lied to me. i try to not break down and cry right here even though i feel the tears building.

i grab the bag off the shelf and hand it to her and she thanks me and turns on one heel, leaving me there to stand in the closet as i let the tears fall carelessly.

"you're leaving?"

"man, what are you talking about?" i sigh.

although, i know exactly what otto is talking about. word travels fast around here, and while i haven't said anything to anyone, i also haven't resigned my current contract.

"don't play with me. that might work for everyone else, but you forget, beckham. i know you, and i know when you're lying."

i blow out my breath, before scanning the locker room, making sure no one is in earshot. "i haven't made any decisions yet." and i'm leaving it at that. it's the truth after all, i haven't made my final decision. the redskins haven't even come at me with an offer, although i know that my agent has been tryna get something in the works.

the giants however wanna keep me, and i've been informed that my pay will only increase, as long as my game stays on point. which to be honest has been a struggle.

my head isn't in it, and my heart definitely isn't either. it's been so damn hard to try and put my heart into anything, when i feel like there's a gaping hole in the middle of my chest. the fact of the matter is i miss ira.

i know for certain that i've fucked things up, majorly. and i'm even more certain that she doesn't wanna hear from me again. she told me that exactly, her direct quote.

but as much as i've tried, i can't stop thinking about her, and i can't do anything to ease the ache in my chest every time i do think about her. i wanna say that i'm sorry for taking the bet. but in a way, i ain't sorry at all.

if i wouldn't have, then i would never got to know her, i would have never figured out how amazing she actually is. i'm only sorry that i didn't tell her sooner, before i professed my unconditional love for her.