Belle | #1

13| Induratize

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I n d u r a d i z e

(v.) to make one's ow-n heart hardened or resistant to someone's pleas or advances, or to the idea of love.

❋❋❋

Sometimes,

all you can do,

is lie in bed,

and hope to fall,

asleep before,

you fall apart.

– William C. Hannan

❋❋❋

"Hey Nana, I'm home," Ella said, smiling as she settled her bags on the floor. Her Nana – grandma in more formal language – just settled their afternoon tea on the table before rushing over to engulf Ella in a tight hug.

Ella wrapped her arms around her and buried her nose in her hair, just as she did when she was seven. There was a comfort in Nana's hair, as though if Ella closed her eyes, she could pretend she was still a seven year old girl, smiling a smile that missed a few teeth, but smiling nonetheless.

"We missed you Ella," Nana said, smiling gingerly at her granddaughter when she let go. Even then she still cupped her face with her scarred palms. "You're growing up so fast honey – getting more beautiful every time you visit."

Ella could feel her cheeks tingling at Nana's comment, but she just smiled and leaned into her touch. "I missed you too," she said quietly, feeling tears prick the corners of her eyes. "How are you? You've been taking your pills as we agreed?"

Nana pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. "Ugh, don't get me started on those damn pills. I swear the only pills I used to take were for birth control –" Ella dropped her jaw, but Nana just winked at her cheekily. "– and now apparently there are pills for different things and I have no idea why I need to take them all." she said warily, huffing. "But yes Ella, I've been taking them, don't worry."

"Charlotte, why are you yelling already? It's only one-thirty in the afternoon baby, remember we both agreed that your mood swings can start after three," Henry – Ella's grandfather – said, walking with his cane just as the last time Ella saw him.

When his eyes settled on Ella, the walking cane slipped off his hand, but he was still standing still. Ella gave him a watery smile before rushing over and hugging her Paps. Henry sniffled against her before holding onto Ella tight, and he smelt exactly as Paps always did when Ella was a young girl – aftershave and nutmeg. "My lil girl," he whispered against Ella's hair, and even then, she could feel his smile. "It's so good to have you home, baby."

"It's good to be home, Paps," Ella said, burying her face in the crooks of his chest as she always did. "I missed you."

"I missed you too baby girl," Henry said, giving Ella a big grin when they parted. "Look at you – all grown now."

Ella tried to laugh, but it came out more like a choked sob. She always got this emotional when she saw her grandparents – she thought that maybe she'd get used to being away from them – but every visit proves her wrong. She missed this home – the home that had every childhood memory tucked in the corners of these walls – and she missed her grandparents, but she knew happy endings belonged in fairytales and not in the real world.