Okay, so I guess this is my second installment of my fucked up life? My therapist said I shouldn't post about this for 3 reasons 1. Backlash ie kids making fun of me, which if you're going to make fun of me then fucking go for it. I couldn't care less. 2. People finding my identity but I'm being pretty good about hiding it. I did mention a few things (I was two when it happened, I have 3 siblings, I live near the woods) but a million of other kids that went missing probably have the same situations so I'm not worried.
But if you do find me then congrats, you should be in the CIA or some shit. 3. My own safety, the only one I'm actually a bit worried about as well. Not everyone who did this to me has been caught, only three of the five. So yeah, I was two, I was kidnapped, I don't remember all that much from the early years but you don't remember much until you're five anyway. Just a lot of abuse, I think I blocked a lot out. My scariest early memory is sitting in blood while being filmed, it wasn't mine, I wasn't sure who it was or what it was from. But since I wouldn't drink it for the camera I was forced to sit in it. Was I maybe six? It's fucked, but things like that became my norm. I just I should start as young as I remember and go up huh?
Well like I said this stuff really quickly became my norm, sometimes they'd make me read for scripts, sometimes they'd just film my reaction to everything. I hated pain so badly, I hated seeing blood. I remember when I was really little they had to shove socks in my mouth to keep me quiet while the cut me. The worst pain I ever felt However was one of the most terrifying things that my mind still refuses to block out. I was seven at this point, I had 'been bad' there weren't many ways to really punish a kid when you torture them on a daily so they often used food to punish me, either by making me eat vial things or starving me.
This particular time they starved me. (Before I go on and this gets even more confusing then it had been before like me describe the place I lived at. It was small, in the woods, the windows were covered and had bars over them, the front door had about fifteen locks on it. It was like a cabin. The living room only had a wore down couch and a t.v The kitchen had cabinets, cupboards, a stove, fridge and a table without chairs, there were three rooms upstairs and a unfinished basement -where most of the shit happened- I either slept in a room with one of the guys (I know he'll come up later so I'll call him x and while we're at it I'll call the girl Y and the other guy Z)or sometimes in a dog crate in the basement) I was in the dog crate and normally I never tried to leave because I was terrified of what they would do to me but I hadn't eaten in a few days, I had these horrible cramps and I at least wanted something to drink so I picked the lock of the crate (which was so easy) and made my way upstairs, the basement door was locked and I could see through the keyhole that the t.v was on but there had been no movement so I grabbed the key the kept on this little ledge (that I could just barely reach) and I opened the door. Bam, freedom, I should have found a way out of the house but I thought this was normal and that these people were my family.
I snuck to the kitchen, there was some kind of porn on the t.v, I remember seeing boobs and blood before looking away. I grabbed Oreos, I was stoked, I had only had them one other time and that was when X had given them to me after him and Y had gotten in a big fight in front of me, I'm pretty sure he just gave them to me so I'd like him more or to keep me content when he held me that night (and as gross as this is I feel like I need to put it out there, both X and Y never did anything Pervy to kids, However, Z had(including to my brother)I think maybe that's why I was kept with X ?
But I doubt if they're killing and torturing kids they're really going to care if they get molested on top of it, But I was also the only one they raised, the others never got to stay so long. Back to your scheduled horror story ) so I sat under the table eating Oreos and drinking Pepsi but someone found me, it wasn't x,y or z. This guy wasn't one that often came here although he seemed to be the leader of the three, I never knew his name but he was significantly older then XYZ and they called him father. I had to call him grandpa (Although none of them were blood-related to each other Or him)Grandpa grabbed me and yelled for Y and Z (I have no idea where x was) he dragged me down saying what a bad (pronoun that I'm not sharing until I know I'm safe) I was, Y and Z followed him and Y kept kicking at me as I was being pulled downstairs by grandpa.
He threw me into one of those plastic lawn chairs and was laughing like someone just said the absolute funniest thing ever. He grabbed rope and told Y to tie me up but to leave one arm free so she did. I was scared, he was always the sickest and meanest. part of me wonders if he really did raise XYZ and taught them to be like this. He grabbed my jaw tightly to make me watch whatever it was about to do to me, he told me to pick a number between 5, I said two. He told Z to grab him scissors and like a dog, he got them in a heartbeat for grandpa. Grandpa balled my hand into a fist then pulled my ring finger from it "you're lucky I'm nice enough to let you keep most of it , I'm taking your hand off next time " I can still hear that in my head before seeing him hack at my ring finger with the scissors, I was screaming loudly and z came over to me and shoved three of his fingers into my mouth (pervert) I can only really remember my screams at this point, I know that I bit down on Zs fingers at one point because he slapped me and instead shoved his sock into my mouth, I have no idea how long it took him to take it off since I passed out (I have just a little past my first Knuckle of my ring finger left) but I remember waking up. I was in Xs room like normal. I remember all my limbs aching and X had his hand on my back, he told me I wasn't allowed to leave his room for a few days and that if I had to go to the bathroom I had to do it in the corner in a bowl. He just gave me pills, food, and water during that time, I slept most of it the next time, my memory is foggy.
I think I'm gonna stop again for a bit, I told you guys I'm pretty emotionless but talking about this stuff makes me feel like a scared little kid again. I will add a small bit of information about the case tomorrow but for the rest of this night I'm going to try and relax
