Danny Phantom

DP-Chapter 15

Dan

I wake with a start, breathing heavily. My hands shake and I bite my lip hard. I hate remembering that time. Remembering what I did...how many people I killed...how many lives I destroyed. But most of all I hate seeing all the people I lost. Mom, dad, Jazz, Sam, Tuck, and Lancer hurts but all the ones I watched die by my own hands hurts worse.

Dani was the first, then Dash, Paulina, dozens that I knew from school. My friends, parents, Val and her dad, Kwan...plus hundreds that I didn't know. Each death plays through my head, over and over...never-ending. I grab my hair and feel myself teleport. And gasp when I find myself at Kwans.

I slowly knock on the door and hear shuffling inside. "Dan? What are you-oh God what's wrong?" He asks and I shake my head. He just takes my arm  pulls me inside. "Holding it all in helps nothing." He says as he sits me down. I bite my lip and lean  head back before I open my mouth.

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Kwan

"I cant quit seeing everyone I know die. No one understands how hard it is. I lost my family and friends...killed everyone I knew. God Kwan the things I did..." he trails off and I get up, hurry and grab to blankets, then go sit back down, wrapping one around myself and one around him. "Tell me about all of it. Your killing yourself keeping it all locked up, so explain it to me and I'll help you carry your burden."

He looks at me with a lost expreassion then sniffs and says. "It started with that stupid exam. I cheated when I knew it was wrong, but everything has consequences. When Lancer found out he called my family to the nasty burger and my friends showed up too. There...there was an explosion and they all died...so they sent me to Vlads. And I think he was honestly trying to help, I can't blame him for it. But it was a disaster like I told you. I think that memory is one that scares me the most. I...shredded him. Mauled my human side to bits..."

He stops for a second and I take it in. I know I should hate him but I don't. He was hurt and alone and yeah he made bad choices but he's given up that life.

"Then I went after other's that I loved. Ellie was the first I found. She fought so hard to try to stop me...but she wasn't strong enough and I...god I can still feel when I reached inside her, grabbed her heart... then Dash and Paulina. I found joy in making them suffer, hearing their bones snap and...

And all the others, parents and children and friends and foes and strangers. And then you..." I watch the tears slide down his face and sorrow take over him. So I did the first thing I could thing of. I pulled him into my arms and held him as he cried.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He repeats over and over. I run be fingers through his hair and shush him. I think of something and say "I don't know if this happened in your past or if yours was different from Danny's but..." he sniffs and mumbles "everything was the same except that I went evil and he didn't..." I nod and say "then you remember when we were kids and we were just learning who our friends were and starting to figure out who we are and what we like. It was in third grade, and Dash and us had just formed our click?" He nods and I continue. "One day Dash and Paulina were skipping to have his birthday and it was just me and I was sitting alone at recess under a tree. You and Tuck had been playing ball and it rolled over by me. Do you remember what you told me?"

I chuckle when he shakes his head no. "You asked 'do you wanna play since your stupid friend Dash isn't here to be stupid.' I got mad and yelled that he wasn't stupid and he was my bestest friend. When you asked why he didn't invite me to his birthday I opened my mouth then closed it and I remember wondering why he hadn't invited me. So I lied and said my mom wouldn't let me go.

You of course didn't believe me and said he was just using me. Thinking back we were all kinda mean as kids. So I pushed you and ran off to sit behind the brick wall and began to cry. You eventually found me and just sat down. I remember wondering why you were so weird but being a kid I was upset that I hurt someone and began saying sorry over and over. You told me that it was fine, that you deserved it and that I wasn't a bully but just wanted to fit in. But your next sentence is what stuck with me. You said 'Kwan you don't have to depend on others to decide what to do. Your human and that means you aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes but thats what makes you a good person.' I didn't understand at the time but I think you were trying to tell me that as long as you have flaws you will be able to change, you just have to try." He looks at me in silence for a long while before leaning in and covering my lips with his.