Baby Madness

Chapter 46

". . . and that made you special. To me, you are special."

Those words haunted me for the rest of the night. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa utak ko kanina para sabihin 'yon pero sana ay wala siyang narinig. I mean, with all those noise, maybe he didn't hear a thing. I hope.

I remembered everything clearly. After I said that, I wanted to cover my ears and run away. I was scared to hear his response. Yet, I couldn't move. It felt like my feet were cemented right where I stood.

My heart was pounding loudly and it was getting harder to breathe. We were silent for several seconds, unsure of what to say or do. Right at that moment, the kids surrounded us while giggling and jumping excitedly. Czanelle and Clark hugged each of my leg while Jaden and Jylliene pulled Jazer's arms.

That was my chance to get away from him.

"Let's eat," sabi ko sa mga bubwit at tumango naman sila. I held their hands and we went back to the house.

Nakahanda sa papag ang mga niluto nina Jem at Nanay Fe kanina. Those were the same foods that they cook for me yet it felt different. Seeing several people around me reaching for what they wanted to eat, asking if that particular dish is tasty, and talking to each other while eating made me realize that celebrating Christmas is better this way. It was unfamiliar yet heartwarming.

Inilaan ko na lang lahat ng atensyon ko sa pagkain at sa mga kapatid ko. Maybe that way, I could forget about him for a while. That way, I could escape this prison of emotions.

***

Our week-long vacation came to an end.

Nahihiya na rin ako kay Nanay Fe. Isa pa, gusto ko munang lumayo kay Jazer. After what happened the other day, we couldn't look at each other anymore without getting awkward.

"Can't we stay one more day, Ate?" Czanelle pouted while raising her index finger.

"No," I firmly said. "We need to go home."

"How about Jy? Jaden? Can they go with us?"

"No." Napabuntong-hininga naman ako. She was close to crying and it seemed like she really got attached to Jylliene and Jaden. "They can't leave. They have to stay with their family."

"Then, can we stay with Mommy and Daddy?"

Para namang lumubog ang puso ko nang sabihin niya 'yon. She wiped the tears off her eyes, trying hard not to cry, and her melancholic expression stirred something inside me.

"Come here," tawag ko at lumapit naman siya sa akin. "Do you miss them?"

"Mmm," she mumbled with her pouting lips and furrowed brows.

"They miss you, too. As well as Clark. So be a good girl and wait for them. Okay?"

She ran to me and buried her head on my lap. I patted her back in return. Several months ago, this kind of proximity bothered me. I didn't want to get close to my siblings because I envied them. They were with Mom and Dad while I suffered alone. I couldn't even remember when I started opening my heart to them.

"Chloe," tawag ni Nanay Fe kaya pareho kaming napatingin ni Czanelle. "Hindi n'yo ba hihintayin si Jazer para may maghatid sa inyo?"

"Ah, hindi na, Nanay Fe," sagot ko naman.

"Sigurado ka ba?"

"Opo. Alam ko naman na kung ano ang mga dapat sakyan para makauwi."

Kinuha ko naman si Clark na karga-karga ni Jem habang hila ang maleta namin. Czanelle cling onto the edge of my shirt since both of my hands were already occupied.