Tear you apart (J-Dog fanfic)

9. Been To Hell

My P.O.V.

"All right... I'll tell you something but only because I know I can trust you." Danny was my friend and I felt comfortable sharing my past with him.

"I'm listening..." He was staring deep into my eyes absorbing every word I was saying.

"So... The reason I'm depressed and everything is because..." I started stuttering again. But I can't cry over it, I made a promise to myself. "Because I lost someone who meant the world to me... Two years ago."

"Oh my Gosh! That's terrible!" Danny was holding my hand the whole time giving me support to say more.

"He... He used to disappear a lot... And I couldn't help him... No one could." I started remembering like it was yesterday. "I didn't know what was going on in his head. One day, he just left and never came back..." I bite my tongue to stop the pain I was feeling inside. "He was found a few weeks later... He committed suicide." My body started shaking, tears running down my cheeks. Danny hugged me tightly and I started crying more, burying my face into his chest. "I never understood why..."

"It's okay to cry..." He whispered gently and for the first time in so long, I finally felt safe in someone's arms.

"After that, I became a mess... I distanced myself from everyone. I also started disappearing..." I continued talking "Eventually, I moved away and my life got better... but I still have demons to fight with."

"We all do..." Danny was wiping my tears while speaking.

"Yeah... Just like Jorel." My heart started beating faster as I mentioned his name. "When I see him, it's like standing in front of a mirror. I can feel his pain. But there's much more going on with him, I just know it."

"I think you should let him know how much you care about him." Danny was pretty serious.

"What? No way!" I kinda felt embarrassed. "He doesn't even listen to you guys. Why would he care about me?"

"All right, if you say so... But you should think about it." He had a point, but I've always been so nervous and negative about everything.

"Goddamn it, Danny! Why are you so perfect?" He chuckled after my words. "But still, the tour will be over, and after that, I probably won't see him or any of you ever again..." I totally forgot that soon all of this will be over.

"Hey, don't say it like that... Of course, you'll see us again. This is just a beginning." The courage in his voice was giving me a piece of hope.

"Thanks, Danny... for everything!" I hugged him once again. "This is the first time I've shared something so personal with someone."

"I'm glad you trust me. And I'm proud of you for sharing. You are really brave!" Those words made me smile. For the moment, it made me forget about all the shit I've been through.

***

The two of us were hanging out for a few more hours. Dylan, Jordon, and George were somewhere out for a quite long time now, but it didn't bother us knowing they were probably together and safe unlike...

"Jorel!" Danny shouted which made me turn around.

"Am I interrupting something?" Jorel smirked as he stared at us. I blushed a little, probably out of embarrassment. Why the hell did he say it like that? Don't get mad now, the important thing is that he came back.

"No, actually," I answered with confidence before Danny got a chance to say anything. Jorel smirked once again which made me roll my eyes. I mean, it's not like I was making out with Danny or something; and even if I was it shouldn't be Jorel's problem. I know he doesn't care about me. Or maybe that was the part of my problem – I wanted him to care. I wanted him to notice me the way I've noticed him.

I know I'm overthinking now... Maybe he didn't mean it seriously. Maybe he was just joking with Danny. But the way he said "interrupting something" it kinda sounded... I don't know. But it pissed me off a little.

Danny looked confused for a second before asking: "Man, what happened to you, anyway? Are you okay?"

Jorel's P.O.V.

"I'm fine." It was the only thing I said. I still couldn't tell him the truth, for his own sake; at least not before I find out identities of those assholes... especially that new guy who seemed familiar. What if it's Danny? That would be crazy, huh?

"Are you sure?" He noticed me staring at him weirdly. "You know you can tell me anything. I want to help you."

Oh Gosh, it can't be Danny. He's too pure for this world. But you'll never know. The nicest guys turn out to be the biggest psychopaths.

"Danny, I'm fine, really. No need to worry." I just needed to ask him nicely if he went somewhere today. "Anyway... What were you guys doing today? Have you been here the whole time?"

"Well, the two of us were just hanging out here the whole day... The others are still somewhere out, I don't know..."

Shit, how should I now know where the three idiots went? I don't want to sound like paranoid, but what if it's one of them? "Nice! Now that I'm here, they aren't!"

"Calm down! I'll text them to let them know you're back." Danny started typing on his phone and I just threw a glance at...

My P.O.V.

Me! He threw a glance at me, again! Is he trying to play with my emotions? Is it obvious that I want him? Does he hate me for that? Too much is going on here that I don't even know what to think. Why is Jorel's smirk so damn sexy? I can see he's still broken, but he manages to hide it very well.

At least he'll be at tonight's show...