Survive As We May

Testing Fait

I lay awake as my stomach hurts from the kicking..
I can't sleep on my side so Im stuck on my back and Nicolo is asleep distanced away from me.

I need to eat...no I don't, I argue with myself but it's one of those things that you can't win so I stand up cautiously and make my way down the stairs and over to the kitchen where I begin my search.

The gummy bears had to be somewhere around here! I say and I look under the sink but can't find them anywhere! Angry I search frantically in other drawers until i come across the right one and take them out with the light suddenly turning on.

"Umm aren't you supposed to be asleep?" Shocked I turn to see my mother as she stands by the doorway.
"Yes I just needed some water" I say lying with the candy behind my back.

"Oh stop that come have a seat and enjoy your candy" she says coming over and taking a seat while beckoning for me to join her. I do and place the bag on the table opening it up and eating it.
She takes some as well and eats with me.

This was strange but it's been so long since I spoke to my mom about something serious and this is really bothering me...
"Mom, Nicolo asked me to marry him" I say looking down at the tiny little candy bear between my fingers.

"But weren't you already getting married??" She asks looking at me with her brows raised.
"No we separated for a whi-"

"What?" She scowls at me and I look down in shame.
"Why didn't you tell me?! I've been speaking to you for so long and you haven't mentioned it..and so you guys are still separated? I'm so confused!" She shakes her head and I don't know what to say.

"We had an argument actually a lot of arguments! Like a lot..we fight so much Mom, I left him and then I found out I was pregnant and I didn't tell him so when he found out we fought again
And then we ended up in the hospital and things are good now, it's nice this way..." I say trailing off.

"So?" She says raising a brow.
"So I don't want to ask for too much, I don't want to push so far, last time we were happy and everything was going better and then I put the ring on and everything fell apart, I don't want to ruin what we have now" I add looking away from her, I am afraid she will think I'm crazy...

"So you're going to live the rest of your life afraid of change, look at me Valentina" and I do..

"Life is short and you may think you love Nicolo now but you will never be more in love with him until you state your vows and make that commitment.. even if its a mistake even if in a year you lose one another that doesn't matter, what matters is that you had that year that you took the time to be with each other. Especially if he is going away" at this last remark I sigh.

"And if he does? I have two children I can't do this by myself! I don't want to lose him Mom but-"

"You might just lose him from pushing him away" she interrupts and i know she's right..
"I know" Is all I manage as I eat another gummy bear.

"It's your decision, you shouldn't feel pressured, but if you do choose to marry than know that you will always have me and your sisters to help you and we will all do everything in our power to keep Nicolo out of jail" she stands up and smiles down at me. I smile back and I'm happy she's here with me. It's like what happened between us never did happen..

"Now go to bed" she says placing a kiss on my forehead and heading back to her room. I sigh taking my gummy bears with me and making my way back to the room we are staying in. When I come in Nicolos back is facing the door and I tiptoe the best I can back to the bed leaving my candy on the bedside table.

But as quiet as I'd been he still flips around and rubs his eyes open.
"Valentina are you awake?" He asks looking up at me.

"Yeah sorry didn't mean to wake you I just got up for a bit" I say laying back down.
"Is everything alright?" He asks staring down at my stomach and then back up at me.
"Yes I'm fine" I say and he nods coming closer to me and placing a small kiss on my lips.

"Why do you taste like green apple?" He asks and I chuckle.
"No reason" I say my eyes starting to close as he wraps his arms around me.

And like that I drift off everything suddenly fading away.. but I know that tomorrow when we wake up we will have to face the real world and the way things are going to be.

Investigations were going to take place and if warranted by a judge Nicolo could be taken into custody...
Everything would become twisted and we would have to move back in together and I'm sure he would ask again for me to marry him...

But would I say yes? Or do I still believe we're testing fait??