Love You Till The End (Robert Zussman x Reader)

9 - Y/N L/N

September of 1943

I turned 20 years old a couple of weeks ago. It was nice to be with my family for my birthday. My parents gave me some gifts as usual, but I honestly would've been fine without anything. I was just glad I didn't have to spend my 20th birthday locked away with Wayne.

I wouldn't say I'm completely happy though. Since I've gotten home, I've had a few nightmares which have made it difficult for me to sleep sometimes. I can't help but hate myself because I could have gotten away from Wayne much earlier, but I kept telling myself to stay all so I could be there for him if he needed my comfort. Sometimes having a big heart can get you hurt.

The day I arrived home with my father after leaving Wayne's house was a day filled with lots of emotions. We had pulled up to the house and we were starting to get my belongings out of the truck when my mother walked out of the house. I stopped what I was doing and ran to her with tears in my eyes. My mother stroked my hair as I cried in her arms. When I pulled away from her, she had tears rolling down her cheeks and I could see the shock in her face as she looked at the bruises and cuts on my face. She knew what had happened to me even before I could explain anything.

It took me a few days of being back home to be able to explain everything to my parents. When I finally did, they made me feel so comforted. My father wanted to go back to Wayne's house and hurt him even more, but my mother and I calmed him down the best we could. I didn't need him to get in trouble and make the situation worse.

The one thing I still didn't understand was why my family had stayed away from me while I was living with Wayne. Before Wayne started locking me up in the house, it was still difficult for me to visit my family because I had no automobile and it was a long walk from Wayne's house, so I really relied on getting a ride from Wayne or their visits in order to see them. They had visited a few times before Wayne started hurting me, but then it stopped. I never even got any letters from them.

"Didn't it worry you that I stopped coming to visit? Or that I didn't write any letters? Didn't that make you think something was wrong?" I finally asked one day, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"We didn't know what was happening to you because we had been lied to, Y/N. Wayne stopped by one day and told us that you had gotten an opportunity to become a nurse and that you left as soon as possible so you wouldn't miss out. He told us he was going to join the military and hoped to get stationed near you," mother explained.

I felt so angry. He knew I was still too young to become a nurse and he just lied to them. All so he could hurt me instead of focusing on healing his own pain.

"We remembered how you said you were too young to become a nurse which left us confused," my mother continued, "but we thought maybe the Nursing Association was beginning to allow younger women in. That damn boy had us fooled! He came over here looking completely normal. As if nothing was wrong! Not even mentioning the deaths of his brothers or showing any signs of mourning!"

It made much more sense now. He thought his actions through to make sure they didn't suspect anything. I knew he was a smart man when I met him, but I never expected him to do something like this.

"Didn't you expect some letters from me telling you about this 'opportunity'?" I asked.

"We did, but when we didn't get any, we thought that your training was taking up a lot of your time," my mother responded. She stopped cooking dinner and sighed. She walked over to me, looked me in the eyes, and began to tear up.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. Ever since you've arrived home, I can't help but feel like a terrible mother. I should've known something was wrong. We kept thinking there was an explanation for everything when all along, our daughter was getting treated horribly!" she put her face into her hands and burst into tears. I would have joined her if I hadn't run out of tears from all the nights I spent crying myself to sleep.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders knowing what had really happened. I knew it wasn't like my parents to just forget about me.

"Mother, it's okay. Things will be okay. It's not your fault that Wayne did what he did. You had no idea he was capable of doing something like that just like I didn't," I reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I'm not strong right now, mother. I never thought I could feel this heartbroken, but I'm beginning to realize that I can't let this hurt me forever. It will take time, but I'll be okay someday."

She looked up and smiled at me. She quickly got up and hugged me tightly.

"I know you will be. I'll be right here for you always," she said.

When dinner was finished being cooked, it was time for my mother to leave for work. She kissed my brother and me on the forehead before leaving. My father was also working late tonight which left the house alone to my brother and me.

After I finished eating, I went to read in the living room. It was hard to concentrate on my book though. I spent most of the time staring at the candle I was using for light.

I kept thinking about what I had told my mother when she was crying. I wanted to make her feel better which is why I said what I did, but as I stared at the candle, I realized I should be working on being okay eventually. I don't want to spend the rest of my life being miserable. If I were to do that, it would be as if Wayne were still a part of me. It will be hard to let go of what happened and maybe I'll never be able to let it go, but I can at least learn to live with it and not let it control the way I feel.

The thing that hurts me the most is that I had seen a few women who were once in my life fall in love with men who eventually treated them horribly. The way they changed so much was so sad to watch. Offering them help was no use because they felt that they were being loved. I remember always telling myself that I would never let myself fall into something like that, yet I did.

I'm so unsure if I'll ever be ready to fall in love again someday. The thought of that just terrifies me. I know not all men are bad, but being alone for a while sounds good to me. I decided that I would eventually go back to working at the munitions factory. I definitely didn't want to run into Wayne there, but he'd eventually be gone because of the draft, so, for now, I'll just focus on getting better.

I blew out the candle and headed to my bedroom. I went into my brother's bedroom to check on him before going into mine to see him fast asleep. It was nice to see him every day; I had missed him so much.

I went into my bedroom and changed into my pajamas before climbing into bed. I let out a sigh because for once, I didn't feel like crying.