Project: Socialize (Chapters 1-197)

118. Gardens

"What is that?" I awkwardly laughed once again. "Not everybody is like that. Or is that based off of experience?"

"You know what rich people often do?" Mura said. On her face was an oddly sad smile. "Rich as in the top one percent. Rich people, especially sons and daughters of rich people," she said. "they have everything they want already. Therefore, their lives they devote to satisfying their lust. That's why they often have sex parties and orgies."

"That sounds... dirty," I said as I took a drink from my coke as I held up the cup with both hands.

"It sure is," Mura nodded. "I know people who's been ruined by those parties."

"I guess," I sighed. "I could see innocent girls being tricked and kidnapped to become sex toys for those rich kids... And after it all ended, those poor people couldn't do anything to get back at the rich..."

"Sad story isn't it?" Mura said as she gazed into her cup with a nostalgic look in her eyes as she peered into whatever it was that she was gazing into. "This city... no... humanity is sure tainted."

"That's why I chose to be alone," I said. "People are dirty creatures that will do whatever it takes to satisfy their desires. Ironically, it's humanity that can be the most inhumane..."

"You're right," she sighed.

"But..." I added as I stared into my coke and recalled the faces of those innocent few..."There's still some who has not yet been tainted..."

In my opinion, people such as Luna and Muria hasn't been tainted by humanity's darkness. As for Irina, she's been exposed to it, but I was able to push her away from that abyss. Then there's Loyd and Zaksus. I'm not sure about them, but... they probably haven't been darkened. Suffocating and drowning in that dark abyss... let it only be something that only scums like me should endure... I've been wronged by humanity, tainted by humanity, and dyed black by humanity. This abyss is who I am, and in this abyss, I will end myself.

"True," Mura nodded. "But... no one is innocent and pure. No one is a clean slate."

"I know," I said, allowing my facial expression to relax from fatigue.

No one in this world is clean... It isn't human to be entirely clean, meaning that complete pureness is impossible. Even the most kind of humans have the seeds of darkness implanted within them that would grow into black flowers when given the right fertilizer. The only way for a person to be completely pure is if they're bleached into the color of white... I was suddenly reminded of something Ralus had recently said to me.

"A field of white flowers is no garden at all."

I think I finally understand what he means now. White flowers, although the opposite of the black flowers, houses a similar evil within them. Both white and black... are bad, but... they both exists in humanity. Some just might have more white and some might have more black. However, there's never a human with a pure white or a pure black garden, because if the flowers are all one color, it is then no longer a garden...

"You know," Mura started speaking once again. "You're oddly mature for a teenager."

"Now now," I replied with a soft chuckle as if what she said was blasphemous. "I'm just a normal high school student."

"Well," she chuckled as she gazed into my eyes. "I've seen plenty of people before. And your eyes... it oddly resembles the eyes of those who had lost everything and have nothing to lose."     

"Now that's not true," I laughed. "I need to use the restroom."

I excused myself as I got up from my seat and started walking away from the bar, through the quiet lounge area. As I walked away, I glanced over my shoulder and observed her. In her, I saw a beautiful garden, one that encompasses roughly an equal amount of white and black flowers that were still both outnumbered greatly by other colors... Then, I decided to look around the lounge, observing the different people that populated this peaceful place.

There was a young woman in her early twenties, dressed in what I believe to be a dress in the medium price range that could very well possibly be the girl's best outfit. Sitting opposite to her was a man in his late thirties that was dressed in an expensive looking suit. However, judging by the man's behavior, it would appear that suit was just one of many.

From the young woman, I see only a few black flowers, but... I believe pretty soon, more black flowers will grow in her garden. She must be a college graduate that's looking for a job. That explains that naive expression on her face as she tried to seduce the man into granting her a job. From that poorly concealed desperation, I could tell that the girl will have an awful night tonight that she'll probably regret. The man sitting opposite of the girl had a garden with plenty of black flowers. From that smirk on his face, I could tell that the man was simply toying with the girl. Probably going to have a one night stand with her and take advantage of her naive desperation. When it's all over the next morning, chances are the girl is going to find herself tainted by the darkness and end up with nothing in particular.

Then, I looked over to my right. Sitting on the lounge chair around a round table were a woman who was pressed up against a pretty nervous man. From this, I could tell that the woman was the dominant force there as she used her charm to toy with the man. Her garden was pretty filled with black flowers, and from how skilled she were, she must be quite skilled at using her body to have men do her bidding. From the man, I also saw more black flowers than white. However, I could see more and more black flowers sprouting in his garden as some of the white flowers wither and die. I didn't know what they're bargain was, and I didn't want to know. I just didn't care at all.

Looking around, all I saw were black flowers sprouting and white flowers withering. In this tainted place called a bar where adults go about with their socialization, I saw before my very eyes people being pulled into the abyss. These were all people similar to me, scums of humanity.

Black flowers, black flowers, black flowers everywhere. However, these numbers were still pretty low. These people have yet truly fallen into the abyss.

After using the restroom, I walked up to the sink to wash my hands. Then, I looked up at myself, gazing into my own eyes in the mirror. I recalled Mura's comment about my gaze being similar to those that have nothing to lose. Of course they do This gaze of mine belongs to a prisoner locked away in a fortified prison.

As I peered into my eyes, I slowly became able to see the garden within me. A single white flower stood at the very center of my garden while being surrounded by some flowers of varying colors. However, what's more noteworthy was the large sea of black flowers surrounding those flowers.

"It looks like there's no way for me to leave this abyss," I chuckled as I exited the restroom.

Author's Note:

Well. I'm not really that satisfied with how I wrote this chapter but I'm lazy. So here you guys go. Please vote and comment if you've enjoyed. Thank you.